TheRealSharon's Blog

{August 8, 2013}   What Not to Wear after 30

In a month and a half, I will be turning 30 (ugh).  Recently, I have been wondering what this means for my wardrobe.  I have seen enough television shows on fashion to know you can’t away with wearing things after 30 that you could wear in your 20’s.  I was wearing a Care Bear shirt that said “Always Grumpy” the other day and I thought, “Can I still wear this after I turn 30?”  I mean, it’s not like some magical switch is going to go off and change me 100% right? So far, I don’t feel much different at 29 then I did at 18….I have to deal with more grown-up stuff and my body feels older, but the person inside me still is the same.  I don’t expect reaching 30, 40, and so on to change me that much either.  So…what if I still like wearing cute character shirts? What if I get into a mood and decide I want to wear pigtails again? Are the Fashion Police going to come after me?  I would also ask if someone will put me on “What Not to Wear”, but they have just started their last season so I THINK I am good on that one!

I went searching online to find out what items I will soon be too old to wear.

I happened upon an old article on Lifescript from 2010 called, “Top 10 items you’re too old to wear“.

Here is the list…let me know if you follow the rules. 🙂

1. Message T-shirts: Retirement age-30…..This is just what I feared! Along with character shirts, I love a good shirt with a message.  While I agree that some messages are better reserved for the younger crowd, I disagree that ALL message shirts should be off limits.  A shirt that says “Your bf thinks I’m hot” IS a little childish, but having a shirt that says, “I love my husband” or “Big girls rule” isn’t…in my opinion and yes, I would love a shirt that says both those two latter things!

2. Too-Trendy Denim-Retirement age-35:  This is talking about low-rise jeans, torn and embellished, etc.  I only have one pair of jeans and they are baggy capri length jeans with graffiti all over them…I guess I can wear them to 35! 🙂 I guess I can see where this argument comes from, but if you were single and wanting to go to the club or something, I don’t see why it would hurt…

3.Costume shoes: Retirement age-mid 40’s…Yea, I didn’t know what they were referring to at first either…This is talking about stripper heels, thigh high boots, etc.  I currently don’t wear any of these because I would break my neck! I can see why people would want to give up these kind of shoes and yea, stripper heels on an older woman kind of looks hookerish, so I agree….BUT there are celebrities 40+ who still have the bodies to pull it off!

4. Micro-mini skirts-Retirement age-40: You won’t catch me wearing this anytime soon anyways! This is another thing where you look like a hooker wearing it when you are older….not to mention women start getting those varicose veins and cellulite(which I already have)

5. Anything showing excessive cleavage-Retirement Age-50:  If I went for this look, I would be able to go with it another 20 years, but I prefer not showing all God gave me.  To each his own, I say! I suppose the cutoff is 50 because by the time, most women’s boobs have headed south of the border!

6.White, Ribbed Cotton Tank Tops-Retirement Age-40: My first instinct here was to say what about polyester and other fabrics? 🙂 But seriously….I never wear white tank tops by themselves anyways….I use them underneath stuff, but never on their own.  Not because of my age, but because it feels see-through to me and I prefer to not show my bra and everything else…I don’t like to see this on anyone past kid age…

7. Hair Gadgets-Retirement Age-30: Apparently this is talking about over the top scrunchies and hair clips…..and kid  barrettes….It says if you use them at all, accessories should be subtle…which mean plain and boring to me….yea, I admit to using scrunchies and hair clips a lot…I have very thick, curly hair and I live in Texas.  It’s hot and I like to put my hair up sometimes.  I don’t intend to stop using hair gadgets when I turn 30, but I also don’t plan on using bright colored hair bows and plastic barrettes either.

8. Oversized, Overly-Decorated Hobo Bags-Retirement Age-50:  I have awhile until I reach 50, but I think it’s safe to say that I will be using whatever purse or bag I choose.  I absolutely find nothing wrong with big so-called Hobo bags….the only purse I think would be silly to say on someone over 50 would be a literal Barbie purse….

9. Cheap, unflattering underwear-Retirement Age-40: No one but my husband and me will see my underwear anyways, so why does it matter? I personally buy my underwear where I can get it for the best price I can get.  I DO think it’s important to be sized correctly for a bra…but that should be done while you’re still young and then frequently thereafter.

10. Loud accessories-Retirement age-35:  I know a LOT of people that break this rule.  It doesn’t really bother me either…I think it’s just all about moderation….for anyone, regardless of the age.

AND then, they threw out one last trend to toss for EVERYONE…and I wholeheartedly agree….Whether you are colored bra straps or not, don’t show them! Undergarments are called UNDER for a reason! It makes me nutso when I see people showing off their bras…and their underwear for that matter! No matter your age, wear a shirt long enough to cover your pants if you bend over, OR wear a belt.  I really do NOT care to know that you are wearing a thong with a heart on it!

SO….that was the list. What do you think of the list? Is there anything you think should be added?? Anything you disagreed with them OR me on? Do you think your fashion should change drastically after 30 or not? I am dying to hear! Seriously…:)

No 5QF today…I am not exactly sure why, but when I went to get the questions from the blog I get them from, there was just a regular post with no explanation for why there wasn’t a 5 Question Friday, so…I guess I will post a regular post as well, eh? 😉

Tonight, my youngest niece (that I had before I got married) graduates from high school and I am beyond proud of her.  She’ll be graduating in Austin, while I live about 4 hours away and am unable to attend. It makes me sad that I won’t be there and wishing I WAS able to go is one of the wishes heavily on my mind right now. I can’t believe the little baby girl who I saw right after entering this world when I was 12 years old is now graduating high school and soon heading off for college. It’s so crazy and surreal, it seems like yesterday that she was a little girl.

Then, I have the second youngest niece who I mentioned a few weeks ago, who got married. I was 11 when she was born and now she is married and old enough to soon have kids of her own. I hope she waits just a bit(lol), but I know it’s a possibility. I wasn’t able to go to HER wedding because it was in Indiana and there wasn’t much notice due to her hubby being in the Marines and working with his schedule. I wish I could have gone to her wedding like she was there for mine, though.

Just a few weeks ago, I ALSO being a great aunt for the 5th time, (although 2 of my sweet baby great nephews are angels now). Another one of my nieces giving birth. I can remember HER when she was in diapers! And now she has her own baby in diapers. I wish I could have been there when her baby, Alexia, was born. I wish I could go to North Carolina now to see her and the baby.

I wish I could see my other niece/best friend who now lives in North Carolina as well. I wish I could see my oldest niece and my great nephews in Indiana. I wish I could see my nieces and nephew in Austin more. I wish, I wish, I wish. If wishes were of monetary value, maybe I would have enough money to make them all come true. At least I could make the wishes that were possible using money to fulfill.

Then there are the wishes that money can’t buy for you. I wish my weight loss would continue as fast as it started. I wish I didn’t have a thyroid problem. I wish my Nanny was doing better and my Mom didn’t have to worry so much about her. I wish I was a better housekeeper…lol…Although money could pay for a maid, I suppose! I wish I could be pregnant before all my nieces end up married and pregnant. There, I said it and the whole world knows. 😦 I know people tell me that I am still young and yadda, yadda, yadda, but it’s discouraging that the same little girls I watched crawl, take their first steps, and some I even changed their diapers, are all growing up and I feel stuck. I always thought I would be married and have a family before my nieces…or at least most of them, you know? I’m older so it just made sense to me. But it hasn’t happened and it isn’t for lack of trying. For years, people mention in teasing me having a baby and I laugh and go, “It will be awhile!”, but inside I am really saying, “Oh, I wish, I wish so much, I have been wishing that for so long!”

I never wanted people to know how much I wanted it because I felt like people would discourage it. When I got married at 25, more than one person said I should wait years before having a baby. I never intended to actually take their advice, but life took it regardless of my own intentions. All around me, people much younger than I am are having babies and I act all happy about it, but to be honest, there are times I cry and say, “I wish I could have what they have.” My husband knows. He has been around for many a tear shed. It’s really a struggle sometimes being happy for someone else when you really feel envious.

I HATE feeling that way. I feel like if people know this, they will dislike me for my feelings. It’s the truth, though. ~Sigh~ I guess this is where doing a wishes post gets me!

Here I am, vulnerable and exposed by my deep inner wishes. Now you know a secret I have kept locked away close to my heart. I only wish I had got it out sooner.

First, a disclaimer: I am in no way claiming that old people are boring!

I don’t FEEL 29, going on 30…..I feel like I am younger…UNTIL I come across someone in their 20’s that’s going through the wild party phase. Then, I realize I have become a more mature, older person whose idea of fun is NOT what it used to be. I DO have some friends in their 20’s who have passed the wild stage and are more on my level but a lot of times, it’s because they are married and/or have kids. Getting married and starting a family can tend to make you grow up faster. AND I DO have some younger friends that are not married OR have kids but have just matured faster…..but then you have the ones who still drink to get drunk for fun, go to the club at least once or twice a week, and are just completely reckless and irresponsible. There was a time when I went through this phase, although I’ve never been into drinking, really. I DID think it was fun to hang out with friends all night, sleep all day and just not worry about anything, though. I remember a time when if I didn’t have plans on a weekend, I was at home depressed and wishing I did. Now I am perfectly fine NOT having plans! In fact, I actually prefer it most of the time!

There was a time where I was jealous of the party goers and wished I was like them and was always partying. Now? I’m GLAD that I’m not one of them and I feel like a parent in my worry and frustration about them. And I don’t think it was just getting married 3 1/2 years ago that made me this way. I think I have just grown up……Lord knows my husband still has some of that college partying in him! Sometimes I feel like I have a 28 yr. old man child instead of a husband! LOL

But I’m perfectly happy that I have moved on to a more mature phase of my life. Every once in awhile, it’s fun to act young and careless for a bit, but I am honestly happiest acting like an old boring woman. A Friday night for me is catching up on my DVR or curling up with a book. Maybe that makes me boring, but it’s fun for me! 🙂

{October 27, 2011}   Bittersweet Memories

You’ve grown up so fast. I still remember the little chubby baby who ran around in her diapers annoying her older sister. I remember during Nanny and Papa’s 50th Wedding Anniversary when you went to hide in the closet and my pinky finger got in the way. It hurt really bad and the tears came and I felt even sadder to know that love could sometimes cause physical pain. A moment went from such fun to horror at the sight of my bleeding finger. I quickly forgave and moved on, realizing we were both young and accidents happen. There was a short period of time where we clashed a bit and I shook my head and wondered what was I going to do with this rambunctious little niece of mine?

Time passed, we both grew older and it was like that space of time never existed. In fact, some times I look back in my memory and it feels like it really WAS just a dream and we always got along, good as gold. You and your sisters lived with us for a few years here and there and it started to seem as if I had these 4 younger sisters instead of 4 extra nieces. Then the time came for you and your sisters to move back up North and I cried after you left. I cried for all of you as if my sisters were moving away, never to return. The peace and quiet of the house that I thought I always wanted quickly got old and I wished for all the singing and dancing and even the yelling. Our house felt like a ghost of what used to be. For a time, I wasn’t like an only child whose older siblings had gone away and left home because while you were there, there was always someone to watch a movie with. There was always someone to play games with. Now that you were gone, I never felt so lonely in my life.

Years past and every time I saw you and your sisters, I jumped for joy. I missed you all so very much and awaited your return with the excitement of a young kid on Christmas morning. I tried to make the time last as long as possible before the day I knew would come; the day you would leave once again. I hated the times when 2 years or more would pass before I saw you again. It was sheer torture. Somehow I always hung on for the next time, though.

Social Media allowed me to have more contact with you than ever before. I could now hear about your life and feel like I was actually a small part of it, instead of just an outsider. I would still wish to be there for big events and parties, to share each moment with you. The day I got engaged, I wanted to include you and all my other nieces in my special day, but the cost of that many people, I saw was unrealistic. Your older sister, Beckah became my Maid of Honor, which I doubt was a huge surprise for anyone, knowing how close we were. I put some of my closest friends as bridesmaids and I wished I had room for all my nieces, too. The day I had a best friend back out of being a bridesmaid should have been a sad and depressing day, but instead I was secretly happy. I now had an excuse to add another niece in under the guise of making the numbers fit….5 groomsmen needed 5 bridesmaids, right? I now had a chance to add ONE niece, but it also came with the fact that the other 4 nieces I didn’t pick might feel left out. I took my chances, though and picked you. You were the next niece, closest in age, that I had become closest to in our later years. I felt like you were also a good friend of mine now and I wanted you to be a bridesmaid even before one of mine backed out. Immediately, I felt like the chance opened up for a reason and it was meant to be. I was so excited to ask you and even more excited when you accepted.

Back in 2009 was the last time I saw you, back when you were a bridesmaid at my wedding. I have since seen 2 of your sisters a couple times, but not you, your older sister or my two great nephews. I miss you ever so much and watch on the side lines as you grow up each day. Since 2009, you have got engaged, while I looked at the pictures and smiled, crying happy tears about the little niece that would become a bride. You then got married at a little court ceremony, which I wanted to be at so badly, but cried those happy tears again at knowing you were so happy and had found a great man. Your marine man went off to war and I ached for what you would go through while he was away. I wished many times that I could see you and give you a great big hug I knew you probably needed many times over this past year. Now the time has come for you to move to another state, far away from not only me, but from your family and friends in Indiana. Your husband will be home shortly and I am filled with extreme happiness for you, as I know you have awaited this day for so long. I again cry those happy tears about you moving to a new home, seeing your husband again and taking the next step towards the future you two will have. I know your family and friends will be crying both happy and sad tears right now. Happy for the same reasons as me and sad because they will miss you the same way I have missed you all these years. I can understand a little bit of how they will miss you because I have been there and continue to be there, but my heart aches for my other nieces who have to say bye to their beloved sister, for my oldest sister and brother-in-law who have to say bye to their baby girl who is now a woman, for the friends who have to say bye to the one who brought laughter and joy to their lives for many years. We have to remember that it’s not forever and we will see her again. For some, maybe sooner than others, but this goodbye doesn’t mean forever. It’s more of a See you later.

To my niece Lydia, I love and miss you more than you know and I am so proud of the woman you have grown up to be. I am so happy for the new life that awaits you and I wish you and Dru the best that life has to offer you. May your days be filled with love and joy! Always know that I am just a virtual hug or shoulder away.

{February 6, 2010}   Growing up is hard to do

It’s the morning of September 24th, 2009 and I wake up for my normal morning routines (I don’t think you need a play by play here, do you?).  As I look in the mirror, I think about how today is my 26th birth…..CUT!!!!!!!!

WHOA! 26th? Me, 26? How am I 26? I distinctly remember at 25 that I told myself I was going to just stay at 25. Turning 26 is a violation of my promise that I would not get any closer to 30. Ewww…..just looking at the number makes me feel sick. But here I am, almost 5 months into my 26th year. How did I get here so soon? It feels like yesterday that I was 21.

In all honesty though, I never originally wanted to be 18….everyone I know can see how THAT worked….I am clearly and visibly older than 18. But while a majority of kids at home were contemplating the magic age of 18 and leaving mommy and daddy and getting their own place, I suppose I was a bit abnormal. I always told everyone I knew that while they couldn’t wait to grow up that growing up was yucky. You had to pay bills, pay for your own food, a place to stay…..It was not as easy as everyone is making it out to be. Yes, I said that as a little kid. How did I know that being an adult was so hard?  Well….I could see adults around me everywhere, hear them talking and I guess I actually heard what they said and I figured it out. I KNEW as a kid that being an adult was something that sounded very difficult and I was perfectly fine with staying a kid and making a permanent home with my parents.

Which is why when I turned 18, I was in no rush to leave the comfort of home. And you wouldn’t believe the amount of people after I turned that age that were all pestering my mom about me needing to get a job and move out. I see some parents that do that, rush their kids out and I am extremely thankful my parents didn’t do that with me. My mom is different too, like me…She was fine with the idea of me forever living with her.  And I did up until I got married. I know that day was hard for her because my mom WAS different. My mom doesn’t enjoy having a house with just her and my dad. She misses me there, I know. And I miss seeing my mom all the time. Call me a baby, if you will.

Now that I am…26….ugh…..some may wonder since I knew at a young age that being an adult is harder, Do I now think it was harder than I ever imagined then? You may think I am a liar but no.  It is AS hard as I always envisioned it to be, the whole paying bills and scrounging for money, getting by just barely. I saw THAT coming, maybe it was intuition, I don’t know.  What I didn’t see about growing up back then is the little details that no one can possibly know. Like the fact that marriage is hard, but I did not know WHO I was going to marry when I was little, so there are difficulties I didn’t envision because of who I did marry. Living with a bipolar husband is hard to do and maybe in another blog I will discuss that more. I didn’t know that I was going to be diagnosed with thyroid disease as an adult and have problems as a result of that.  I didn’t know as a kid that when I grew up the economy would be so messed up and I would have such trouble finding a job…..

So yes, I KNEW from a young age that being an adult was difficult, BUT I never knew then all the little extra details that would be thrown in to make it that way. And no matter how hard you prepare for anything in life, you can’t possibly know all the things your life has in store for you.  Some things are great, some things are tragic, it’s a very bumpy ride, sometimes it feels like there’s more bumps than smoothness, but you have to hold on tight and try to not fall out too soon. Because there is the sad part…….sometimes your ride might end too soon.

I remember something the choreographer for A.C. Singers told me once when I asked her about aging. She said that you should be happy about getting older because some people aren’t afforded that blessing. Some people’s rides eject them too soon. 😦

Back to the morning of September 24th, 2009. I look in the mirror and grimace because I realize I am 26 then I think about people I knew that never hit that milestone. With tears soon to emerge, I look again and give thanks. It’s not just my 26th birthday and not just that I am 26. Today, I can say……I made it to 26.

Growing up IS hard to do but I wouldn’t exit this ride for nothing.

et cetera
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