TheRealSharon's Blog











spotlight

Welcome to my Spotlight Sunday! Every Sunday I put someONE or someTHING I love IN the Spotlight!

Anyone is welcome to use the idea on their own blog and spotlight whoever or whatever THEY choose, but if you do, please use my lovely graphic that my friend made somewhere in your post to show that the idea came from here! And I would love it if you left the link in my comments, so I could go check out what YOU spotlighted!

If you’re a frequent follower of my blog, you probably know that I’m in the middle of a long weight loss journey that started back in July of 2012. As I was considering what to spotlight today, my journey popped in my head and I thought what better thing to do than to be able to laugh at the whole thing? I still have a long way to go, but sometimes humor is just what you or I need to lighten things up and keep heading forward! So…today I am spotlighting “Weight Loss Humor”.

*These are funny jokes I found over the Internet, NOT jokes I made up*

LOST WEIGHT
Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit.

Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks.

“Wow,” the lady said, “I must have worn these when I was 183.”

Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, “How old are you now?”

(I had never looked at my weight as a possible age before! I guess this is the only time you can actually age backwards! LOL- My outlook on the joke 🙂 )

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney~

Secret Switch

After noticing how trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet. It was then I shared my dark secret: “I put our teenage son’s shorts in his underwear drawer.”

— Ruth J. Luhrs (from Reader’s Digest)

Read more: http://www.rd.com/slideshows/15-hilarious-weight-loss-jokes/#ixzz2QU8cWeIs

The Government has Issued New Guidelines for a Healthy Diet

They advise you to:
1.List your ten favourite foods.
2.List your five favourite drinks.
3.List all green vegetables that look like marsh grass, fur balls or little trees.
4.List water.
5.Avoid 1 & 2; eat only 3; drink only 4.

diet“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”-Mark Twain

clicksFrom the brilliant minds at FadDiet.com, some of the weirdest diet inventions…ever. These are actual inventions that were actually patented, according to the author of the site.

The Red/Green Light Fork

This fork has a green and a red light. When the green light is lit you can eat. Then, the fork senses that you have eaten something so it makes you wait a while (red light). Tick-tock tick-tock Green Light!

This patent was awarded in 1995

(I would be eating a lot of Finger food, lol!)

The Diet Dam: Hannibal Lecter Style

The easiest way to not eat is to block off your mouth right? Seems logical to me. Just stick this grill over your mouth and you won’t be able to stuff your face.

(Who would actually use this?!)

The Calorie Counting Fork

This fork will count your calories for you. That is pretty nice. I am not sure how it works and from reading the patent it involves a stack of index cards with codes on them so I don’t think it is automatic or even easy to use.

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and cahins. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

(AMEN!)

And last but not least, here are some “Diet Tips” 🙂

1.If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2.If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

3.When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.

4.Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

5.If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6.Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.

7.Cookie pieces contain no fat– the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

8.Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

9.Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

10.Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.

11. Foods eaten while watching a major event on television do not count. Major events include: Superbowl, Hockey Finals, Indy 500, Jerry Springer show.

12. Powerbars and other type energy bars make you thinner. In all my years of exercising (at least three times a year) I have only seen thin people eating energy bars. Ergo (therefore) they must make you thin.

13. Snickers is the same as an energy bar (see #12)

14. Tasting other people’s food does not add to your calorie count.

15. Containers of food that list the number of servings as greater than one are lying. Every container includes one serving. Half gallon of ice cream, box of cereal, bottle of soda, bag of chips are all one serving.

(All pictures and jokes are from the Internet again, not from me! Hope you had a good laugh!)



Ever wanted to know if the way you talk is more Northern, Southern or just a standard United States speak? Well, I invite you to take this fun quiz and find out! The Yankee or Dixie Quiz! My result was 57% Dixie OR Barely in Dixie….I have lived in Texas all my life by the way, but most of my responses were common for all of U.S. or Northern more than Southern…which I believe goes to show you, that it’s not always where you were born that determines how you speak.

I was actually so intrigued by the results that I went ahead and took the Advanced version. You can find the link at the bottom of the first Quiz if you choose to do so too! This one put me at 30% Dixie….my Southern friends and family are probably feeling betrayed about now…I’m sorry! 😦

Here are some funny texts I found on a very funny site called When Parents Text. 🙂

  • DAD: What’s the cupid shuffle?
  • ME: A line dance, kind of like the cha cha slide.
  • DAD:  Never heard of it but they’re doing it.
  • ME:  You joining in?
  • DAD:  No not me.  I’m not a line dancer.  I’m always out of line.
  • MOM: I also want a cat that will attack dad when he falls asleep and starts snoring in the living room.
  • ME: Or maybe just an airhorn.
  • MOM: I DO have one of those. A cat would be funnier because he could not get mad at me then.
  • ME: Maybe a cat that can blow an airhorn?
  • MOM: We may be onto something.
  • MOM: A cat that drives a mini semi truck with an airhorn.
  • MOM: Looks like I need to find a remote control semi and an unsuspecting cat.
  • DAD: What are you doing?
  • ME: I’m at Grandma’s house. What do you need?
  • DAD: I want cookies. Chocolate chip. Get them for me. I will pay.
  • ME: Ask mom.
  • DAD: I did. She won’t. Says no. Get cookies please.
  • ME: I will on my way home.
  • (10 minutes later)
  • DAD: Nevermind. Mom found texts. NO COOKIES! ABORT MISSION!
  • MOM: Do you want waffles or muffins for breakfast? Just text “A1” for waffles or “B1” for muffins.
  • ME: Why did you go through all that trouble? Why can’t I just text “waffles” or “muffins”?
  • MOM: We are texting in code! ;););) 🙂
  • ME: Waffles
  • MOM: A1 or B1?
  • ME: WAFFLES
  • MOM: Sooo…A1?
  • ME: Mom. Yes.
  • MOM: I think I would rather have muffins. I’m making muffins
  • ME: Lady Gaga arrived in an egg.
  • MOM: Don’t we all?
The site has a book that just was released called “When Parents Text: A Daily Does of Hilarity”. I SO want that book….Bet you’re not surprised there, are you?
Another site with funny sayings is Overheard Everywhere. There are links to Overheard in New York, The Beach, The Office AND Celebrity Wit at the top of the page as well. Here  is one of the Most Popular Quotes from their page.

We’ll Get You a Milk and an Epi Pen and Let’s See What Unfolds

Five-year-old in cafeteria during kindergarten lunchtime: Mr. Greg, my mom didn’t put juice in my lunch. Can I get a drink from the cafeteria?
Mr. Greg: Sure, I’ll get you something. You want milk?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Regular white milk or chocolate?
Five-year-old: Chocolate.
Mr. Greg: Okay. You’re not allergic to chocolate, are you?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: You are? Oh, then I’ll get you white milk. Are you allergic to white milk?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Oh, then I’d better see if they have juice.
(Mr. Greg goes into the kitchen and comes back with orange juice)
Mr. Greg: Here’s some orange juice. You’re not allergic to orange juice, are you?
Five-year-old: Yeah.
Mr. Greg: Do you know what “allergic” means?
Five-year-old: No.

Elementary School
Los Angeles, California



{March 13, 2011}   Date night with the husband

I had a great night last night. Me and my husband stayed up ALL night just like we were back in high school and watched SIX movies in a row. I’m not going to list them all out but my two favorites of the night were the first one, Marmaduke and the 4th one, Death at a Funeral.

Marmaduke because it was just so darn cute and funny and who can resist a silly, clumsy dog who can talk? Not to mention that unlike in Marley & Me, I didn’t cry my eyes out at the end. I love a happy ending, don’t you??

Death at a Funeral was just beyond hilarious. I haven’t laughed so much while watching a movie in forever. I’m surprised I didn’t fall to the floor, loling. I have a friend that had told me it was funny so I knew it was going to be, but oh my! It was a laugh riot! If you haven’t seen it, it is a must see! There are some inappropriate scenes though so parental guidance if you have kids.

Anyways, it was a fun night that made me feel like I was a teenager again and I was being naughty by staying up all night. Left me feeling a little tired today and I finally succumbed to sleep around noon but only slept for about 4-5 hrs. and woke up. Maybe I will be tired at a decent time tonight, who knows?

It was worth it though. It didn’t cost any money cause it was movies that were DVR’d and it was some good quality time that we haven’t had together in awhile. A nice change from the norm. We have been married for about 1 year and 8 months now so I guess we are still kind of newlyweds. I never quite felt the stereotypical newlywed feel though. I think even before we were married, me and my husband were like the “old” married couple type. We argue and bicker and it might not be the most typical relationship, but what is normal, really? In total we have been together as a couple for over 3 years and we still say “I love you” over 100 times daily EVERY day. The words never get old to me. Even when we fight and he will say “I love you” to try to make it better and I will utter a grumpy “I love you” back, it’s still the truth and from my heart. I love my crazy man. He can be a real baby at times, not clean up after himself A LOT, irritate me until I want to scream, drive me crazy enough sometimes until I want to commit myself but if someone asked me if I regret marrying him? NOPE. No regrets. We are perfect for each other, maybe more than people can even see. The real me is not exactly perfect….I can also be a baby at times and be messy and drive people crazy. We all have our faults. To the people who told me that after I got married, I would learn more than I wanted to know about my husband, be grossed out and possibly wish I got myself out of the mess…After all, living with someone teaches you a lot you didn’t know and it may be hard to deal with. You’re right BUT you’re also wrong. I learned more about my husband but none of it has really shocked or surprised me all that much. I haven’t ducked my tail between my legs and ran yet. (Forget the fact that I don’t literally have a tail….)

~sighs~ I still love him as much as I did when I first fell in love with him, if not more.

Oh and I had a special text when I awoke from my nap. It said I was the best “dission” he had made in his life. Dission meaning Decision…..I think the text was cuter because of the misspelling. I am a stickler for typos, my hubby makes them ten fold but hey, opposites attract.



{February 26, 2011}   A laugh to end a sick day

Yep…you guessed it. I am still sick.

Thought I would post some jokes to cheer myself and others up. Here you go!

MORNING SICKNESS

The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.

“What’s wrong Marge ?” she asked.

Marge told her that she had “morning sickness.”

Surprised, the neighbor said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant!”

“I’m not.” the harried young woman replied. “I’m just  sick of mornings.”

COMPARING CHILDHOOD SURGERIES

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze!”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumcision.”

The second kid says, “Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”

BLONDE DETECTIVE TRAINING

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds” . . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.

(I might try a few of these techniques in this next one!)

HOW TO DEAL WITH TELEMARKETERS

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, “How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?”

2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Or you can say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one seems
to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . .” When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

3. If the person says he’s Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: “Hi, my name is Judy and I’m with Canter and Siegel services….
You: “Hang on a second.” (few seconds pause) “Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are
you wearing?”

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, “Judy!! Is this really you? I can’t believe it! Judy, how have you
BEEN?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

6. Say, “No,” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they’re trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, “I don’t have any friends . . . would you be my friend?”

8. If they clean rugs: “Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood – chicken blood too?”

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional “Uh-huh, really, or, “That’s fascinating.” Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn’t give your credit card number to someone who’s a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example: Telemarketer: “This is Bill from Watertronics.”
You: “Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?”
Telemarketer: “Uh, Dallas, Texas.” You: “Great, they have a group there too? How’s business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya.”

11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, “Well, I don’t really want to get a call at home,” say, “Yeah! Now you know how I feel.” (smiling, of course…)

And now for the last one: One I have heard a few times but still funny AND true!

COMPUTER BUSINESS

Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:
“Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?”
“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
“What sort of trouble?”
“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
“Went away?”
“They disappeared.”
“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
“How do I tell?”
“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
“What’s a sea-prompt?”
“Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
“What’s a monitor?”
“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
“Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
“Yes, it is.”
“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
“No.”
“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
“Okay, here it is.”
“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach.”
“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
“No.”
“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
“Well, turn on the office light then.”
“I can’t.”
“No? Why not?”
“Because there’s a power outage.”
“A power… A power outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
“Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
“Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
“Really? Is it that bad?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”

HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!



{February 24, 2011}   Kid’s Advice to kids

This was taken out of a blog I did on Myspace in January of 2006 and I believe the original place I got this was from an e-mail….I’m sick so I’m just copy/pasting my post tonight.

“Never trust a dog to watch your food.”
Patrick, age 10


“When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer.”
Hannah, age 9


“Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.”
Michael, age 14

“Stay away from prunes.”
Randy, age 9


“Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.”
Emily, age 10


“When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.”
Taylia, age 11


“Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.”
Traci, age 14


“A puppy always has bad breath — even after eating a Tic-Tac.”
Andrew, age 9

“Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time.”
Kyoyo, age 9


“You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.”
Armir, age 9


“Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.”
Kellie, age 11


“If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.”
Naomi, age 15


“Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.”
Lauren, age 9


“Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.”
Joel, age 10


“When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.”
Alyesha, age 13


“Never try to baptize a cat.”
Eileen, age 8



{February 8, 2011}   It’s funny how

Some days you just want to laugh at crazy things that happen to you…Today, right before I got on the computer, one of those things happened. I went into the bedroom and was looking by the bed for something and I hit the side of my ankle hard on the metal frame. I screamed ouch and fell onto the bed ONLY to hit the top of my head hard on my husband’s knee(cause he was over on my side). So it was a lot like something out of a comedy or The Three Stooges…..my husband was cracking up. I, however, was not very happy cause it hurt! Now it’s funny to me though.

Strange how something can be so UNfunny to you at the time and then so funny later, huh?

It’s funny how having that happen to me caused me to think about other things that are funny to me…..

Like how it’s funny that whenever you really need something, you can never find it, but when you don’t need it, it’s right there in front of you… OR

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.  ~Murphy’s Law

How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?  ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (Seriously! I can not believe how many times my mom has told me and others the SAME stories over and over….How DOES she remember the story BUT not who she has told it to before?…..The sad thing is I will probably be just like her one day!)

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.  ~Erma Bombeck (I am convinced this is a conspiracy by the grocery store and the government!)

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.  ~Author Unknown (I hate coffee but this also works with other things…..)

If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark.  ~Leopold Fechtner (Remind me never to let my kids have skates! LOL)

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?  ~Christy Whitehead
Shin:  a device for finding furniture in the dark.  ~Author Unknown (Ah….so THAT’s what the shin is for!)

Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.  ~Author Unknown (The author is apparently nameless due to the reasoning behind this!)

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.  ~Author Unknown (I will have to scratch this from my excuses list then)

People who snore always fall asleep first.  ~Author Unknown (I should know…I sleep with a snore monster!)

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.  ~Edgar Allan Poe

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.  ~Author Unknown

The trouble with, “A place for everything and everything in its place” is that there’s always more everything than places.  ~Robert Brault (This has always been MY problem!)
No one is listening until you fart.  ~Author Unknown (I plead the fifth….)

And to end this post……It’s incredibly funny to me how I log on the computer sometimes with one idea for a blog in my head and then something else takes precedence over that idea….Oh well, that’s life! C’est la vie!



{February 2, 2011}   Baby, it’s cold outside

 

Ok, so for those of you don’t know, I live in Texas and it doesn’t get THAT cold here very often. BRRRRR! It is actually cold here…not that I am complaining too much. I actually LOVE cold weather. Of course, I wouldn’t want to live somewhere where it snowed, though. I like the cold temps, but no snow because I am too clumsy and it’s not attractive for me to fall on my butt all the time. I do that enough without the snow!

So it’s 33 degrees right now at around 4:30 in the afternoon as I am typing this. I know a lot of people are jealous of even that because up north has got a beating the last couple of days. We got down to 19, I believe, last night but no snow here where I live. Some parts of Texas did get some snow but not us, which is fine with me! I’ve heard rumors of a slight chance of a little snow or sleet tomorrow and yuck! I hope not….if so, I am staying inside so I don’t end up on my butt. It WAS hilarious to me last night, though. My husband smokes(which I hate) so I make him go out on the patio. He put on 4 pairs of sleep pants and it was one of the funniest sights ever. I told him he looked like he had hips. Wish I had gotten a picture…..

Anyways, I watched this new show on Lifetime last night called “Seriously Funny Kids”. There was a video of a little girl on there that was so funny and cute so I searched for it on youtube and found it! 🙂

Everyone should definitely go watch it!

YouTube – Baby saying a bad word, many times. (Damn it!).



{January 30, 2011}   Life on a Bumper

My fav.!

I’m fresh out of philosophical ideas at the moment so I went searching for comedy. What I found was a lot of funny sayings on bumper stickers and I just thought I would share some of my favorites that I found all over the internet.

My husband needs to follow this advice!

Heck yeah!

HAHAHAHA!

Madness takes its toll–please have exact change ready.

I have PMS and a handgun. ANY QUESTIONS?

I may be fat, but you are ugly and I can lose weight.

Admit it....

I agree!

Officer, will this sticker saying Support Law Enforcement stop you from giving me a ticket?

DO NOT WASH: This vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test

When I married Mr. Right, I didn’t know his first name was “ALWAYS”

Road Rage Next 10 miles

I’ve got a perfect body but it’s in the trunk and beginning to smell

This definitely wasn’t one of my 3 wishes.

Politics is like the “PBS”…without the “P”.

Wife and Dog Missing, Reward for Dog

I wish I had some extra money to buy a few of these bumper stickers. They have so many funny ones you can buy.

For anyone who was interested in the answer to the riddle from Friday, the answer was MARRIAGE.

I hope people have been enjoying my blog. Any ideas, suggestions,advice and/or criticism is welcome! Just leave me a comment on my posts.

Sorry for the spacing of the images in this post, I am still learning how to visually do things on WordPress.



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Worldwide EndoMarch

Forward we go to end the silence for Endometriosis!

Worth the trouble

“He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their silly old fruit anyway, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.” ~from Good Omens

Problems With Infinity

Confessions of a Delusional Maniac

karenwriteshere

Hope isn't an emotion, but a daily choice. Keep choosing the path of hope.

The Ideal Me by 24

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

Women Who Think Too Much by Jeanne Marie

My book, Women Who Think Too Much, is available at smashwords.com

Becoming Cliche

My Journey to Becoming My Mother

My Trousers Rolled

"I grow old...I grow old...I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled..." -- T.S. Eliot, The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock

randomdescent

"writing is an adventure"

More Cabaret

Class, Sass, and a Lot of Ass

Book Lovers Buffet

Load Up - You Won't Gain a Pound!

re-Education

Ideas about English, Drama and ICT in the classroom, as well as some broader musings

readful things blog

colourful language, colourful opinions

101 Books

Reading my way through Time Magazine's 100 Greatest Novels since 1923 (plus Ulysses)

Insatiable Booksluts

Voracious readers tell you if that book is going to suck.

Body Rebooted

On the road to optimal health!