It’s time for another Mirthful Monday!
This week is dedicated to quotes. Quotes that make you smile and quotes that make you laugh, a little of both and I hope you will see at least a few you have never heard before! 🙂
These next quotes come from a book I own called “Wit & Wisdom of Famous American Women”
Tallulah Bankhead: “I met the most marvelous man. He’d be wonderful for you.”
Peggy Joyce: “Is he my type?”
Tallulah Bankhead: “Sure—-he’s alive and breathing.”
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh—at yourself. -Ethel Barrymore
I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower.-Gypsy Rose Lee
When I want to really blast one, I just loosen my girdle and let ‘er fly.-Babe Didrikson Zaharias
Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.-Louisa May Alcott
I’m having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife.-Ella T. Grasso
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there.-Clare Booth Luce
The rest of the quotes were found in various places online.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.P.J. O’Rourke
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?Phyllis Diller
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. Steven Wright
“Friends are like bras:close to your heart and there for support.”-Unknown
“You know, someone actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said, “Parking Fine”.” Tommy Cooper
“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”-Agatha Christie
“Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.” – Anonymous
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers”. –Â Homer Simpson
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz
“Why is it when we talk to God we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?”
–Â Lily Tomlin
I saw the movie, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ and I was surprised because I didn’t see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they’re crouching and hidden.
~ Steve Martin
“Friends are God’s ways of apologizing for our families.”
~ Anonymous
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. William Shakespeare