TheRealSharon's Blog











{October 24, 2011}   Mirthful Monday-Quotes

It’s time for another Mirthful Monday!

This week is dedicated to quotes. Quotes that make you smile and quotes that make you laugh, a little of both and I hope you will see at least a few you have never heard before! 🙂

These next quotes come from a book I own called “Wit & Wisdom of Famous American Women”

Tallulah Bankhead: “I met the most marvelous man. He’d be wonderful for you.”

Peggy Joyce: “Is he my type?”

Tallulah Bankhead: “Sure—-he’s alive and breathing.”

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh—at yourself. -Ethel Barrymore

I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower.-Gypsy Rose Lee

When I want to really blast one, I just loosen my girdle and let ‘er fly.-Babe Didrikson Zaharias

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.-Louisa May Alcott

I’m having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife.-Ella T. Grasso

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there.-Clare Booth Luce

The rest of the quotes were found in various places online.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.P.J. O’Rourke

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?Phyllis Diller

I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. Steven Wright

“Friends are like bras:close to your heart and there for support.”-Unknown

“You know, someone actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said, “Parking Fine”.” Tommy Cooper

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”-Agatha Christie

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.” – Anonymous

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers”. – Homer Simpson

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

“Why is it when we talk to God we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?”
– Lily Tomlin

I saw the movie, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ and I was surprised because I didn’t see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they’re crouching and hidden.
~ Steve Martin

“Friends are God’s ways of apologizing for our families.”
~ Anonymous

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. William Shakespeare



{February 8, 2011}   It’s funny how

Some days you just want to laugh at crazy things that happen to you…Today, right before I got on the computer, one of those things happened. I went into the bedroom and was looking by the bed for something and I hit the side of my ankle hard on the metal frame. I screamed ouch and fell onto the bed ONLY to hit the top of my head hard on my husband’s knee(cause he was over on my side). So it was a lot like something out of a comedy or The Three Stooges…..my husband was cracking up. I, however, was not very happy cause it hurt! Now it’s funny to me though.

Strange how something can be so UNfunny to you at the time and then so funny later, huh?

It’s funny how having that happen to me caused me to think about other things that are funny to me…..

Like how it’s funny that whenever you really need something, you can never find it, but when you don’t need it, it’s right there in front of you… OR

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.  Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.  ~Murphy’s Law

How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?  ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld (Seriously! I can not believe how many times my mom has told me and others the SAME stories over and over….How DOES she remember the story BUT not who she has told it to before?…..The sad thing is I will probably be just like her one day!)

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.  ~Erma Bombeck (I am convinced this is a conspiracy by the grocery store and the government!)

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.  ~Author Unknown (I hate coffee but this also works with other things…..)

If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark.  ~Leopold Fechtner (Remind me never to let my kids have skates! LOL)

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire?  ~Christy Whitehead
Shin:  a device for finding furniture in the dark.  ~Author Unknown (Ah….so THAT’s what the shin is for!)

Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.  ~Author Unknown (The author is apparently nameless due to the reasoning behind this!)

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.  ~Author Unknown (I will have to scratch this from my excuses list then)

People who snore always fall asleep first.  ~Author Unknown (I should know…I sleep with a snore monster!)

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.  ~Edgar Allan Poe

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.  ~Author Unknown

The trouble with, “A place for everything and everything in its place” is that there’s always more everything than places.  ~Robert Brault (This has always been MY problem!)
No one is listening until you fart.  ~Author Unknown (I plead the fifth….)

And to end this post……It’s incredibly funny to me how I log on the computer sometimes with one idea for a blog in my head and then something else takes precedence over that idea….Oh well, that’s life! C’est la vie!



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