TheRealSharon's Blog

{August 5, 2013}   When losing sucks

Nothing new on the weight loss front, but it sure feels like I lost a load.  Not in pounds, though.  I feel brokenhearted and maybe a little guilty.  Why, you ask? Well, almost 4 years ago, around the holidays, I brought home a free puppy I got from the Walmart parking lot.  I knew I didn’t need a pet, couldn’t really afford one, and using the excuse of my future husband(at the time) allowing me to get her is no excuse.  Once I got her, I loved her so much, but it was obvious to me I wasn’t really ready for her.  People seemed to know this and their annoying pointing it out just made me want to prove them wrong.

It was obvious from Day one that she was MUCH younger than what she was supposed to be.  As she grew, she started biting more than she should and no matter what me or my Mom did, she just didn’t understand that it wasn’t okay to be so rough with people.  She got too big and wild for the house so we moved her outdoors.  When me and my husband moved into our apartment we have now, we had every intention of taking her with us.  We would have to train her to be inside all the time, but we would do it somehow.  Unfortunately, our apartment vetos aggressive breeds, and she was not only half beagle, but half rottweiler…what I lovingly referred to as a rottabee.  So she stayed outside at my parents and my Dad took over the responsibility of taking care of her.  He would always gripe about her barking all the time and having to buy all the dog food, but when he didn’t know you were looking, I saw him talk to her like a baby.  He had said before when I first got her that he didn’t like having dogs because they would die….

Angel had been over at my parents living for almost 4 years.  She barked nonstop when she saw someone, but when surrounding houses in the neighborhood were getting broken into, my parents house never did.  She would chase cats, possums, rats, etc. and if she caught them, she would kill them.  I guess it was the Rottweiler in her surfacing.  Once during Eastertime, she left a dead baby bunny….so sad, but we also made a joke about her killing the Easter bunny.  We would go talk to her when we went over to my parents.  My husband would go love on her and we both called her “Angel butt”…don’t ask me why, it was just a name we started calling her and it stuck.  Not long ago when I was over there, she cracked me out with her chasing of some critter hidden behind various washer/dryers my Dad has outside(he is a hoarder!).  She even jumped on top of them to try to get at her prize.

A couple weeks ago, I thought she was started to look scrawny.  My Mom thought she was just shedding since it was summer.  On Friday, we pulled up outside the house and it bothered me that I didn’t hear Angel barking.  I called her name for a good 5 minutes and nothing.  I feared the worst….Mom called and no answer as well.  My mom asked my Dad about her and he said she hadn’t been eating much lately and he had been trying everything he could to get her to eat and drink.  I went back outside determined to get her to answer me.  I started calling again and the saddest sight appeared.  I apologize for giving you a depressing sight, but I am just relaying what I saw.  She came around the corner and almost tripped as she staggered up to the fence.  Her head was tilted to the left and she never straightened it.  Her left eye appeared bugged out and she started barking…a very weak bark compared to the bark she normally would do.  It broke my heart and I just knew something was very wrong.  Seeing her like that made me want to just start crying.  I told Mom how she was acting, but later when my Mom came out, she had gone back around the house and although, she would answer in weak barks, she never returned to the fence.  I knew she was hurt bad for sure then.

I researched online and the symptoms seemed to match up with a brain tumor.  My Dad called all the vets in town over the weekend, and they all said it sounded like that.  I read about how to help, and my Dad tried to feed her food and water in his hands.  On Saturday, she ate and drank a little that way, but not much.  On Sunday, my Dad stayed home to take care of her, which he never ever does.  She wouldn’t eat or drink anything at all, and she had started dragging her back legs and tail behind her.  She would try to stand up sometimes, but just couldn’t do it.  She was getting worse and we had already decided to take her to the vet and if it was confirmed what we already thought, we would put her to sleep.  It would just be cruel to let her continue to suffer.  So my Dad took her today…they said it actually looked like she had ate antifreeze or poison.  There is no way she could have got into either in our yard, except for if she picked up something from an animal she killed.  The other alternative is that someone threw poison over the fence to silence her barking OR even so they could later burglarize the house.  If someone DID poison her, then I wish for someone to poison them in return.  I don’t understand how someone could do something to an innocent creature. 😦 I wasn’t with her when she was put to sleep, but my Dad was there and held her.  I am glad she wasn’t alone.  My last worry for her is that she would die alone without anyone there.

I feel like I abandoned her after I brought her home by leaving her behind.  I feel guilty now that we have an inside dog because our new dog is getting all this love and attention that Angel didn’t get.  I also feel like she had a sucky life because she also had Parvo as a puppy, which cost a ton of money to cure, but she came through.  I do not regret any of the money I spent then and I do not regret it now, but I feel guilty for not giving her more time and attention.  I just hope that she is in Heaven happy right now.  Like I said yesterday, I really hope there are dogs in Heaven, because she deserves to have a happier life there than she did here.  I love you, Angel, and I’m sorry I wasn’t a better Mommy to you. I hope you are happy and healthy now!

R.I.P. Angel

R.I.P. Angel

{March 13, 2011}   Date night with the husband

I had a great night last night. Me and my husband stayed up ALL night just like we were back in high school and watched SIX movies in a row. I’m not going to list them all out but my two favorites of the night were the first one, Marmaduke and the 4th one, Death at a Funeral.

Marmaduke because it was just so darn cute and funny and who can resist a silly, clumsy dog who can talk? Not to mention that unlike in Marley & Me, I didn’t cry my eyes out at the end. I love a happy ending, don’t you??

Death at a Funeral was just beyond hilarious. I haven’t laughed so much while watching a movie in forever. I’m surprised I didn’t fall to the floor, loling. I have a friend that had told me it was funny so I knew it was going to be, but oh my! It was a laugh riot! If you haven’t seen it, it is a must see! There are some inappropriate scenes though so parental guidance if you have kids.

Anyways, it was a fun night that made me feel like I was a teenager again and I was being naughty by staying up all night. Left me feeling a little tired today and I finally succumbed to sleep around noon but only slept for about 4-5 hrs. and woke up. Maybe I will be tired at a decent time tonight, who knows?

It was worth it though. It didn’t cost any money cause it was movies that were DVR’d and it was some good quality time that we haven’t had together in awhile. A nice change from the norm. We have been married for about 1 year and 8 months now so I guess we are still kind of newlyweds. I never quite felt the stereotypical newlywed feel though. I think even before we were married, me and my husband were like the “old” married couple type. We argue and bicker and it might not be the most typical relationship, but what is normal, really? In total we have been together as a couple for over 3 years and we still say “I love you” over 100 times daily EVERY day. The words never get old to me. Even when we fight and he will say “I love you” to try to make it better and I will utter a grumpy “I love you” back, it’s still the truth and from my heart. I love my crazy man. He can be a real baby at times, not clean up after himself A LOT, irritate me until I want to scream, drive me crazy enough sometimes until I want to commit myself but if someone asked me if I regret marrying him? NOPE. No regrets. We are perfect for each other, maybe more than people can even see. The real me is not exactly perfect….I can also be a baby at times and be messy and drive people crazy. We all have our faults. To the people who told me that after I got married, I would learn more than I wanted to know about my husband, be grossed out and possibly wish I got myself out of the mess…After all, living with someone teaches you a lot you didn’t know and it may be hard to deal with. You’re right BUT you’re also wrong. I learned more about my husband but none of it has really shocked or surprised me all that much. I haven’t ducked my tail between my legs and ran yet. (Forget the fact that I don’t literally have a tail….)

~sighs~ I still love him as much as I did when I first fell in love with him, if not more.

Oh and I had a special text when I awoke from my nap. It said I was the best “dission” he had made in his life. Dission meaning Decision…..I think the text was cuter because of the misspelling. I am a stickler for typos, my hubby makes them ten fold but hey, opposites attract.

et cetera
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