TheRealSharon's Blog











How do I say Happy Birthday to a Best Friend that has been in my life for 25 years now and is so much more than a friend because she is also literally family?

I will be the first to admit that I suck in person and on the phone in expressing my feelings and being all mushy. I just get so nervous and the words fail me. I am so much better at putting pen to paper or my fingers to the keyboard and spilling out my thoughts. So because of this, I am doing this post as part of a Happy Birthday gift to my best friend who is also one of my nieces, Rebekah. 🙂 Happy 25th Birthday to you!

I don’t remember the exact date that my niece went from being simply my niece(which is an amazing thing in itself) to being a best friend. When I look backwards, I can’t honestly remember a time when I didn’t feel an extra bond there other than Aunt and Niece. I always felt a friend connection there, like even if we had never been related, had we met each other, we would have STILL been best friends. From a young age, we had different interests, but also a lot in common. I remember dancing around to music together, watching scary movies, eating so many Otter Pops that we should have turned into one ourselves, and staying up late talking. I remember surprising you by coming in for your high school graduation when you thought I wasn’t even going to be there for your oldest sister’s wedding. I remember you almost knocking me to the ground in excitement when you saw me. I remember wanting to chase after your ex at the Fair Ground because I was so mad at him. I remember when you fainted at your sister’s wedding, and I was so scared and worried about you. I remember knowing you were going to be my Maid of Honor many years ago, and being worried that you were going to do a repeat faint…lol

I remember you being there for me during one of the toughest times in my life, and you throwing out a life line to save me from myself. The summer I came to Indiana to work at the preschool was such an up and down rollercoaster, but it was exactly what you knew I needed. I remember listening to music and jamming as you drove us everywhere. I remember the trips to Shipshewanna, to Fort Wayne, and the big trip to Indianapolis where we had the one fight, but we quickly made up. I remember the time you hit the pole at the gas station and everyone was calling you “Crash”, except I didn’t think it was as funny as they did. I also remember you leaving the car running with me inside and our pizza while you pumped the gas. When you realized it, you were worried about the pizza, and we laughed about how I was in the car too, but you asked about the pizza! LOL  I remember all the times we played board games during the holidays, and I remember you dancing in your new pair of heels to Just Dance…and we were laughing at how silly you were. You have always been able to make me laugh and cheer me up.

I also remember how you hate to cry, and not that many people have seen you do it, but I have seen you cry. It breaks my heart when you cry. I know you doubt yourself a lot, and I hate it when you do. I think I have the most beautiful best friend, inside and outside, and it kills me that you can’t see yourself the way I do.  I wish I had a magic wand to bring you everything you want in life. I also wish that your Mr. Right would hurry up and show his face, because you deserve an amazing guy. I think he is taking longer to show up, not because of anything you lack, but rather because there’s not very many great guys out there who are awesome enough for someone as great as you. I KNOW there is one special one out there, though. God wouldn’t make a great woman who wants a great man without putting her match out there. And I also know it’s hard to be patient. I remember struggling in my 20’s, seeing all my friends get married and having babies, and just feeling down about it. The time will come….just don’t give up, my friend. 🙂 ~Hugs~

You are the best friend that I could ever ask for. I believe God put YOU in my life as my niece because he knew I needed YOU as a best friend and we may never have known each other otherwise. If you had never come into my life, I do NOT think I would be where I am now. I think my life would be a horrible place. I think I would still been where I was years ago…if I was even alive today for that matter. Thank you for being my best friend. I love you!

I think this was either 1999 or 2000...I am on the far right putting bunny ears up behind Rebekah lol

I think this was either 1999 or 2000…I am on the far right putting bunny ears up behind Rebekah lol

This was at Chuckie Cheese and I think I was about 8 or 9 and Beckah was 3 or 4 :)

This was at Chuckie Cheese and I think I was about 8 or 9 and Beckah was 3 or 4 🙂

Me  and Rebekah on her graduation day :)

Me and Rebekah on her graduation day 🙂

10 years ago at my brother's wedding...interesting hair choices for both of us LOL...and my niece Lydia giving us bunny ears

10 years ago at my brother’s wedding…interesting hair choices for both of us LOL…and my niece Lydia giving us bunny ears

Me and Rebekah on my wedding day (Hair done by her on my day)

Me and Rebekah on my wedding day (Hair done by her on my day)



This post goes out to everyone I love who is experiencing tough times right now. I wish I could take your pain away and make things better for you. I wish life didn’t have to be so hard. I hate seeing people I care about hurting, both emotionally and/or physically and just not being able to do anything about it. All I have are words for comfort, and I feel as if my words are far from satisfactory.

I have more than one close friend right now dealing with hard times, and I wish more than anything that I could physically be THERE with you instead of just offering virtual hugs and words that I feel are not helping. These friends are dealing with issues that I can relate to far more than I wish. Some of them because I currently deal with it myself as well and it’s hard for me to help myself, much less know how to help someone else. Some of the issues are things I have dealt with in the past and it breaks my heart that anyone else I love has to go through what I experienced first hand. I know from being in that place that no words or advice anyone gave me seemed to really matter. Even if someone COULD honestly relate, I didn’t want to hear it because they weren’t currently in that place. So I don’t want to use the same old adages people use over and over. What I really wish is I could just magically make their problems all disappear. Unfortunately, I can’t, so I am left feeling helpless and all I can do is let them know they are in my thoughts constantly and all my best wishes and prayers are with them as they go through these times. I wish nothing but the best for them and wish that they might get a break of happiness soon.

It is my hope that the ones that this post is meant for will understand and know how much I love them and want the best for them. You are NEVER a bother to me and I always have time for you in my life. I may not know the perfect things to say, but I’m always around to listen.

I truly believe this world would be a better place if all of us would put aside, for even a minute, what is going on in our own personal lives, and really and truly care about our friends and family who are hurting. I’m not claiming to be perfect at this. We ALL have our faults and shame on anyone who won’t own up to their own. I know this paragraph seems unrelated to the rest of my post, but this post is not for everyone…the ones it is meant for will understand. I posted a status on FB today that really summed out this nicely.

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Why is it that when someone DOES care about someone else more than themselves that people can’t believe it? That they are shocked?  I think this is a sad thing when putting others before yourself is so rare to be shocking.

This reminds me of my wedding day. The day that is supposed to be the best day of your life. One of my bridesmaids was told (which was really messed up in the first place), that her husband had been cheating on her. This was during my reception and I saw her crying. Instead of being totally immersed in my wedding day and totally disregarding my best friend, I went up to her and asked her what was wrong and then hugged her and I cried with her. It didn’t for one moment make me feel like my day was no ruined. All I cared about was that my friend was hurting and my heart broke for her. She actually apologized for ruining my day and it made me sad that she was worried about that. Here she was finding out her husband was cheating on her and she was more worried that my day was ruined. I, of course, let her know she didn’t ruin my day. She should have never felt for one moment that I cared more about my happiness than hers. When you love someone and they are hurting, you do your best to do whatever it takes to be there for them, no matter what. If heaven forbid, one of my friends had an emergency and needed a ride during my wedding and there was none available, you can bet I would have given them one. That’s just what you do when you truly care about someone. I’m not saying this to make myself look good. I don’t care how it makes me look. I am just saying how I truly feel inside. How I feel others should feel. Yes, it’s just my opinion, but this world would be a better place if more people shared it.

I believe a test of someone’s true character is how they treat their loved ones when they need help the most. Today, your life may be wonderful and you may have it all, but if you don’t treat those you love that are less fortunate well, then don’t be surprised when the tables turn and they are not there for you in return.



*This is a post that was requested by a friend/customer of my Jewelry Candles Business*

First of all, I think we ALL at times need to know how to be nice when our friend is acting not so deserving of it at the moment. I admit it can be hard for me sometimes. I think close friends are like family and Family can hurt you more than anyone else!

I can remember times when I have had some serious fights and arguments with a best friend and said and did things that I regretted. There were moments afterwards where I wondered if we would be able to work it out and go back to being friends. The ones that have remained my best friends are the ones that accepted I wasn’t perfect, accepted my apologies, apologized themselves and we moved on stronger as friends. I almost liken it to a marriage relationship in a way. Wives and Husbands have their arguments but a GOOD marriage means talking things over, compromising and just moving on. Truly forgiving AND forgetting.

But how DO you be nice to your friends when they aren’t being so nice themselves? Or when they are being overly grumpy or bossy? It’s not easy. In fact, I think my first instinct is to snap back at them and put them in their place.  With some people, it might work, but most of the time I think this ends up just making the problem worse. So, I think the way to be nice is to sometimes step away from the situation, if possible. Separate yourself from the situation, count to 10, think of WHY your friend is acting the way he or she is. Sometimes by putting yourself in the other person’s place, you start to realize WHY they may be acting that way and you can understand that it’s not YOUR fault they are acting that way. You know this person’s heart and you know they are not themselves in that moment. They may be under a lot of stress or feeling bad, lost their job, etc. Often times when people are going through tough times, they lash out on the people closest to them and react in ways that are unusual for them. By backing away from the situation, you can keep a cooler head and tell yourself, “This is NOT their usual demeanor, they are acting this way because of this or that and I just need to remember the person I KNOW they really are and this, too, will cease.” Your friend will eventually get over their mood, probably end up feeling lousy about their actions and they will apologize. IF they are indeed a good friend, that is!

And if YOU’RE the one that did or said something because of stress or whatever the situation, then calm down, forgive yourself and understand that you’re only human. Nobody is perfect and we all have our bad days. A true test of friendship is being able to overcome the lows of the valleys and make it through to stand on the mountaintops!

Not everyone may agree with me, but arguments and fights are a normal part of ANY good relationship. Yea, I know that seems like an oxymoron or something, but it’s true! When I see a relationship where both people are always nice and never argue, I see two people that are being fake. I’m sorry, but you KNOW that one or the other are hiding their true feelings to satisfy the other. True, fights where people are physically hurting the other or throwing things are NOT healthy and good for a relationship. BUT disagreements involving just words ARE. It’s good for friends, family and spouses to be able to talk through things and learn to compromise so that EACH person in the relationship feels like their feelings are important. A one sided relationship is doomed for failure. And you can bet that seemingly perfect couple who NEVER argue are bound to explode one day.

Have you ever tried to hold your feelings in and let people continuously take advantage of you? It feels like you’re being swallowed up, doesn’t it? Like you’re a non factor? Eventually those feelings HAVE to come out, so you either explode one day and everything just trickles out in a huge mess OR you end up letting them out by harming yourself. 😦 I can say I know this from experience cause I have tried holding feelings in before in the past.

Yes, there’s situations where you want to act mature and you might have to bite your tongue, but I truly feel you should NOT let people take advantage of you. You HAVE to learn to speak up. If it’s in a relationship, it may even mean that that relationship isn’t meant to be.

And then sometimes being nice to your friends means having to hurt their feelings a bit. When your friend asks you something wanting the truth, the truth may hurt more than what you think a lie would. But you have to remember that as a friend, you owe them honesty. This is where it gets difficult, because honesty can come out pretty harsh at times. You have to then learn to be honest in a way that isn’t cruel. For example, “I LOVE this outfit. Does it look good on me?” In your head, you’re thinking, this outfit makes my friend look fat  but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. At the same time, do you think your friend wants to walk around with possibly everyone thinking that? No! So you would say something like, “You know, the outfit is nice, but it doesn’t do you justice. You are way more beautiful than that outfit gives you credit for. Let’s try another one.”

Yea, sometimes you’re going to say something wrong…again, nobody is perfect, but in the end, I always say: “If someone IS truly a best friend, then things will always work out for good.”

I have a niece who is also my best friend in the world. We have had big fights and arguments in the past, but we have ALWAYS been able to get over them quickly. WHY? Because at the end of the day, I KNOW the real her, she KNOWS the real me and a silly fight isn’t worth losing our friendship OR family bond over. I’m sure we will argue again in the future, but I have faith we will always be able to get over it, because real friends do. They have seen the WORST in you, they have seen the BEST in you, and regardless of it all, they still LOVE you.



She has been my best friend practically from birth, even though I was 2 months shy of my 5th birthday when she was born. There’s no irony lost on me that the number 5 would later become my favorite number.

She was the second of my nieces to be born into this world and from the moment she entered it, she put a smile on my face. As practically a baby myself and the aunt of now 2, I was overjoyed at having another baby in the family. My first word was “baby” and I was obsessed with them so no surprise that I was more than a little excited to hold each one of my nieces when they were little ones.

I’m not sure exactly when the bond started to grow so much between me and my second niece but it was probably during the first time they were staying with us at our house in Austin. As the youngest of my mom’s kids, I felt like I had little sisters in the house and was excited to play board games, barbie dolls and put on little talent shows with my nieces. It was definitely NOT an aunt/niece relationship at that time…it was like we were siblings and there was not a little “sibling” rivalry that ensues during those kid and pre-teen years.

Somewhere along the line, I clicked with my second niece more so than the others….I still loved all of them dearly, but me and the 2nd niece(Beckah) started calling each other Best Friends. But it was more than that, even…She went through this “underdog” period and I felt like I was her protector and it made me very sad whenever she was hurt. Sad in a way stronger than a best friend bond, I guess as I grew, I realized it was a “motherly” feeling that must have come from being her aunt. As I grew up, I grew also more into the Aunt role and instead of just playing games with my nieces, I had this strong urge to protect them against anyone who would hurt them and worry about them whenever they did something I didn’t think they should have. This is probably why as I hit my teens, I tended to argue some with my nieces about not doing what their mom or my mom told them to do. I just wanted the best for them but I wasn’t even at an age where I had finished growing up myself!

No matter how many arguments I would have with my nieces through the years, me and Beckah always got over them pretty quick and were back to being close. There were many occasions where people told me that “Beckah was my favorite” and I denied it, even when I secretly knew there probably WAS favoritism there. I didn’t mean for it to be, it was just that something about her reminded me of myself and yet, different….and I also felt like even if she wasn’t family, we would have become friends had we met. Really good friends…like the lifetime kind.

My oldest sister actually compared Beckah to me sometimes when she would do something she didn’t approve of and tell her to stop “acting like Sharon”. I would be lying if this didn’t hurt me…not because I didn’t want to be compared to Beckah BUT because I always felt like I was a pretty good kid and a good person and it hurt that my sister didn’t seem to think so. I also have my oldest sister to thank for doing this now because saying THAT was probably another reason why I felt more protective of her and stood up for her more.

Beckah now lives back in Indiana and I don’t get to see her much but I know she’s there for me if I really need her to talk to and I think she knows that I’m always there for her, as well. From the moment I asked her to be the Maid of Honor at my wedding…I knew the cat was out of the bag. I could no longer deny that she was more than just one of my nieces. The whole family knows for sure now that she is also my best friend. At first, I was worried that my other nieces would feel less special because of this but I hope they always know there is no reason to. All of my nieces are like an extension of myself even IF I didn’t give birth to them. They each have different personalities and different things to offer and I love them all equally and would jump in front of a bullet for them if I had to.

The only difference is that Beckah is my best friend that God chose to make a part of my family, too. Like a 2 for 1 special. She would be my best friend anyways but now I have the extra bonus of her being family to keep us forever bonded. That’s the best gift ever to have your best friend as a member of your family. AND I’m also lucky that the rest of my nieces are closer to me because of our ages. I couldn’t have asked for things to work out better even if at times, when I was younger, it might not have always seemed so.

Today is Beckah’s 23rd Birthday and I can’t be there because we are almost a full day’s worth of driving apart from each other. It breaks my heart that I can’t celebrate her birthday with her but I want to wish her the best birthday possible and give her this tribute as a special gift. Keep this post saved whenever you want to remember how much I love you and miss you, Beckah! 🙂

~A big virtual hug to you!~

Beckah & me at her high school graduation about 5 years ago

Beckah & me at my wedding-July 2009



et cetera
Everything Mommyhood

Travel | Family | Deals | Beauty | Food | Life

Worldwide EndoMarch

The Global Endometriosis Uprising

Waiting for Baby Bird

infertility, miscarriage and pregnancy loss

Worth the trouble

“He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their silly old fruit anyway, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.” ~from Good Omens

Karenwriteshere

Hope isn't an emotion, but a daily choice. Choose hope.

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

The Ideal Me by 24

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

Becoming Cliche

My Journey to Becoming My Mother

My Trousers Rolled

"I grow old...I grow old...I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled..." -- T.S. Eliot, The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock

randomdescent

"writing is an adventure"

More Cabaret

Class, Sass, and a Lot of Ass

Book Lovers Buffet

Load Up - You Won't Gain a Pound!

re-Education

Ideas about English, Drama and ICT in the classroom, as well as some broader musings

readful things blog

The search for meaning, one page at a time

101 Books

Reading my way through Time Magazine's 100 Greatest Novels since 1923 (plus Ulysses)