TheRealSharon's Blog











No 5QF today…I am not exactly sure why, but when I went to get the questions from the blog I get them from, there was just a regular post with no explanation for why there wasn’t a 5 Question Friday, so…I guess I will post a regular post as well, eh? 😉

Tonight, my youngest niece (that I had before I got married) graduates from high school and I am beyond proud of her.  She’ll be graduating in Austin, while I live about 4 hours away and am unable to attend. It makes me sad that I won’t be there and wishing I WAS able to go is one of the wishes heavily on my mind right now. I can’t believe the little baby girl who I saw right after entering this world when I was 12 years old is now graduating high school and soon heading off for college. It’s so crazy and surreal, it seems like yesterday that she was a little girl.

Then, I have the second youngest niece who I mentioned a few weeks ago, who got married. I was 11 when she was born and now she is married and old enough to soon have kids of her own. I hope she waits just a bit(lol), but I know it’s a possibility. I wasn’t able to go to HER wedding because it was in Indiana and there wasn’t much notice due to her hubby being in the Marines and working with his schedule. I wish I could have gone to her wedding like she was there for mine, though.

Just a few weeks ago, I ALSO being a great aunt for the 5th time, (although 2 of my sweet baby great nephews are angels now). Another one of my nieces giving birth. I can remember HER when she was in diapers! And now she has her own baby in diapers. I wish I could have been there when her baby, Alexia, was born. I wish I could go to North Carolina now to see her and the baby.

I wish I could see my other niece/best friend who now lives in North Carolina as well. I wish I could see my oldest niece and my great nephews in Indiana. I wish I could see my nieces and nephew in Austin more. I wish, I wish, I wish. If wishes were of monetary value, maybe I would have enough money to make them all come true. At least I could make the wishes that were possible using money to fulfill.

Then there are the wishes that money can’t buy for you. I wish my weight loss would continue as fast as it started. I wish I didn’t have a thyroid problem. I wish my Nanny was doing better and my Mom didn’t have to worry so much about her. I wish I was a better housekeeper…lol…Although money could pay for a maid, I suppose! I wish I could be pregnant before all my nieces end up married and pregnant. There, I said it and the whole world knows. 😦 I know people tell me that I am still young and yadda, yadda, yadda, but it’s discouraging that the same little girls I watched crawl, take their first steps, and some I even changed their diapers, are all growing up and I feel stuck. I always thought I would be married and have a family before my nieces…or at least most of them, you know? I’m older so it just made sense to me. But it hasn’t happened and it isn’t for lack of trying. For years, people mention in teasing me having a baby and I laugh and go, “It will be awhile!”, but inside I am really saying, “Oh, I wish, I wish so much, I have been wishing that for so long!”

I never wanted people to know how much I wanted it because I felt like people would discourage it. When I got married at 25, more than one person said I should wait years before having a baby. I never intended to actually take their advice, but life took it regardless of my own intentions. All around me, people much younger than I am are having babies and I act all happy about it, but to be honest, there are times I cry and say, “I wish I could have what they have.” My husband knows. He has been around for many a tear shed. It’s really a struggle sometimes being happy for someone else when you really feel envious.

I HATE feeling that way. I feel like if people know this, they will dislike me for my feelings. It’s the truth, though. ~Sigh~ I guess this is where doing a wishes post gets me!

Here I am, vulnerable and exposed by my deep inner wishes. Now you know a secret I have kept locked away close to my heart. I only wish I had got it out sooner.



{January 20, 2013}   First Ever Spotlight Sunday

spotlightFirst of all, I want to thank my friend and blogger Dayle for finding this image and photo shopping it for me to use! I’m very grateful for her help!

Welcome to my Spotlight Sunday! Every Sunday from now on, I will be putting something or someone in the spotlight on my blog!

It literally could be anything! One week it might be a blogger or an author or it could be a book, a website, a song…..anything! But each week, I will be spotlighting something that I personally love and sharing it with my fellow readers!

Anyone is welcome to use the idea on their own blog and spotlight whoever THEY choose, but if you do, please use my lovely graphic that my friend made somewhere in your post to show that the idea came from here! And I would love it if you left the link in my comments, so I could go check out what YOU spotlighted!

For this first week, I have chosen to spotlight a Photographer/Artist who I have loved and admired since I was a kid. Her name is Anne Geddes and she is a very talented woman whose photos are adorable and enchanting! She is also one of the world’s most respected photographers and has been published in 83 countries!

As a child, I loved her books and calendars that were full of happy little babies all dressed up as animals, plants and fairytale characters. Of course, I have always adored babies so Anne Geddes was #1 in my book! I even requested one of her adorable stuffed animals for Christmas one year, a Teddy bear with a human baby face. I actually still have this in storage at my parents!

I follow her on Facebook and I have her photos in my bathroom as well as one on the wall next to my bed of three babies in teddy bear outfits. I also own two of her photo books which I have on my bookshelves.

Calendar

If you click on “Calendar”, it will take you to her website where you can browse many photos of hers and see my favorite most recent picture, which is the January Calendar photo that includes…teddy bears…my other love.

I do not have her most current calendar, but I really want it now!

beeHere is an example of one of her photos. Isn’t it simply adorable?

I also admire the fact that she is not only a photographer, but a clothing designer, businesswoman, partner for the United Nation’s Foundation Every Woman Every Child Initiative, Ambassador for the Woolmark Company AND a Global Advocate for Shot@Life, which helps provide life-saving vaccinations to developing countries.

But I have to admit the way her photos make me go awwww every time is enough to be a fan for life!

*Be sure to come back next week to see who or what I spotlight next!*

Photo of the adorable bumblebee credit is all to Anne Geddes!



{August 4, 2011}   The “Unborn” on Facebook

I have several friends on Facebook who are expecting a baby, some are going to be new mommies and some already have been there, done that. I have learned so much about their pregnancies through this lovely thing we call Social Networking. We have the mommies doing a photo time line of their growing bellies, posting the sonogram pictures, and of course, keeping us all informed of the baby that is growing inside them. This isn’t a bad thing, really. For close friends and family that live far away, it gives them the benefit of sharing in this special moment. I do agree that when it comes down to the actual labor, sometimes the minute by minute descriptions on Facebook can be way too much information, but hey, that will probably be me someday.

Something new has arrived on Facebook recently. Maybe they came up with it to try to gain favor since Google + has entered the game or maybe they just thought it was a clever tactic.

Now, expectant mothers have the ability to add their unborn child as a family member with a Due date instead of a birth date and the picture? The sonogram!

I suppose it’s kind of a cute gesture but what happens if something, Heaven forbid, goes wrong with the pregnancy? Can you picture coming home from a miscarriage or still birth and seeing your “family member” listed and then having to remove them or declare them dead? Then seeing on your wall the words “You removed —— as your expectant child.” How haunting……

I’m not a mother yet so I can’t even imagine the intense pain that comes with losing a child and I know losing one has got to be hard enough on its own already without having to remove them from your Facebook, but I just don’t know. There’s just this underlying creepiness factor.

Apparently, Facebook said the reasoning behind this was because moms were making actual profiles for their unborn children where they had to obviously lie about the age and make them at least 13. This was so they could then add them as a son or daughter on Facebook before they were actually born. So now instead of making a “fake” profile, you can add them as an actual unborn child instead of a 13 yr. old child who is really still inside the womb. When I consider THIS reasoning, their decision suddenly makes more sense.

So…I predict adding pets next to Family profiles. I mean, why not? I know people who have already made profiles for their pets and let’s face it, for some people, their pets ARE their children. So why not? Seems less creepy than adding an unborn child, doesn’t it?



Well, me and my hubby went to a friend’s house today for a fish fry. It was a lot of fun and I got to meet my friend’s newest little one, Aidan, who is 2 months old. He was so cute!

I enjoyed holding him, too. It was the first time I had held a baby that small in awhile. The last time was probably when his older sister was an infant and she is now close to 2. It felt like I had been holding a baby all my life, though. Which is not too far from the truth. I’ve been an aunt since I was 2 and held my first baby (that I can remember at 2 yrs. and 2 months). That baby was my first niece Krystal. We have pictures and there’s this big, humongous smile on my face cause I was so excited about holding a baby. I don’t think I even understand that I was an aunt until many years later but I knew what a baby was. I was obsessed with them.

I’m not making that up, either. Ask my mom! She told me that my first word was “baby” and I was so obsessed with them, she got a photo album and filled it with pictures of babies from magazines for me. I would sit there for hours and look at the babies. When other small children would carry their dolls around and throw them down when they were done or kind of be rough with them, I was like a little mommy. I would hold them just like an adult would and I would sing to my baby dolls, kiss their foreheads and gently lay them down. I guess I’m just a baby person…..I’ve always loved them and I’ve always known, without a shadow of a doubt, that I wanted to be a mommy one day.

At the same time, I was around babies and children enough to know that it wouldn’t be the best to have one too young. My mom was a kindergarten teacher and then a daycare teacher and at church, she would volunteer in the nursery and I would help out as much as I was allowed. Some of my nieces also lived with us for years on and off, so I learned the “not so fun” parts of having a baby. I guess that was why in high school when I took Parenting Class, I was the ONLY one in my class that did a paper instead of taking home the crying baby. It was one of those dolls that cried like a baby and you would have to get up and turn the key and hold it. All the other girls were all excited and I said straight out, “No thank you!” I loved babies but I was NOT about to be kept up late taking care of a doll and having to carry it around all the time. So I did this like 5 page paper that was an option. I think the teacher had to come up with it on the spot cause she always offered an alternative but I don’t believe anyone had ever taken it.

I’m 27 now and a lot of my friends MY age already have at least one kid, if not more. I don’t have any yet. It’s not that I don’t want any because I really, really do. Every time a friend asks me when I’m going to have a baby, I’ll play it off and be like, ” Some day” but secretly, I want to scream, “I would love to say I am having one now!” Things don’t always work out like in fairy tales, though. Part of me is afraid to get pregnant because of my weight. I don’t even know if I would be able to anyways. Another part of me doesn’t care and if I ended up pregnant tomorrow, I would be happy and deal with it. It’s safe to say my biological clock has been running for a few years now. And the other day I read in a magazine about how having a baby between 25-30 is the best time and then after that, the odds go down extremely. It scares me to think it might take me too long to get where I need to be, weight wise, to have a baby. Not to mention, what if I am never able to get enough off to have one?

It leaves me depressed. In fact, THIS is a huge issue that keeps me from wanting to go anywhere or do anything which is kind of counter productive. I just get so down about what I CAN’T do because of my weight and then when I tell myself that that should be motivation, it doesn’t work. Nothing seems to motivate me anymore. Sad, but true. I’ve just gotten so tired of failing in the past, that I have gone numb. The will is not there any more.

Tonight, my friend Allison commented that it looked natural when I was holding the baby. Well….it feels natural to me. It always has, to an extent. I mean, there’s a little nervousness there because it’s someone else’s baby and I don’t want them to be afraid that I could drop them or something. Other than that, holding a baby has just always felt right to me. It’s felt like what I was meant to do. I feel this strong maternal urge inside me that tells me that THIS is my true purpose in life. I know that I am meant to be a mother some day. I KNOW that I have that maternal instinct inside me, but when will I get the chance to embrace it?

I know that this is a very personal post and you’re probably wondering why I would share this with the world. Well…why not? This is the REAL me. Why should I hide who I am? I hide myself in real life too often as it is.



{March 12, 2011}   Shadows

I just wanted to share a picture from an ad in a magazine that I thought was cool. It fit last week’s photo challenge perfectly.

Cutest shadow picture ever!

I know it’s an ad for some kind of lotion but I forgot the name. I just love how the shadow of the woman and her child looks like she is still pregnant. Just beautiful and I wanted to share!



{February 2, 2011}   Baby, it’s cold outside

 

Ok, so for those of you don’t know, I live in Texas and it doesn’t get THAT cold here very often. BRRRRR! It is actually cold here…not that I am complaining too much. I actually LOVE cold weather. Of course, I wouldn’t want to live somewhere where it snowed, though. I like the cold temps, but no snow because I am too clumsy and it’s not attractive for me to fall on my butt all the time. I do that enough without the snow!

So it’s 33 degrees right now at around 4:30 in the afternoon as I am typing this. I know a lot of people are jealous of even that because up north has got a beating the last couple of days. We got down to 19, I believe, last night but no snow here where I live. Some parts of Texas did get some snow but not us, which is fine with me! I’ve heard rumors of a slight chance of a little snow or sleet tomorrow and yuck! I hope not….if so, I am staying inside so I don’t end up on my butt. It WAS hilarious to me last night, though. My husband smokes(which I hate) so I make him go out on the patio. He put on 4 pairs of sleep pants and it was one of the funniest sights ever. I told him he looked like he had hips. Wish I had gotten a picture…..

Anyways, I watched this new show on Lifetime last night called “Seriously Funny Kids”. There was a video of a little girl on there that was so funny and cute so I searched for it on youtube and found it! 🙂

Everyone should definitely go watch it!

YouTube – Baby saying a bad word, many times. (Damn it!).



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