TheRealSharon's Blog











{March 28, 2011}   Do things happen for a reason?

I believe they truly do. I have seen things in my own life to prove that. Most of my friends and family already know this story from my life but I thought I would share it with others.

My post yesterday along with the daily prompt yesterday brought this up in my head. The daily prompt yesterday asked about how on fire have you been…metaphorically or literally. Thankfully, I have never been literally on fire but I came close. Others may debate my story but I know the truth.

I was 11 years old and living with my mom, dad, and older brother in Austin, Texas. It was the summer of  ’94 and we were going to be moving in a few months to Lufkin, Texas to be closer to my grandma who was bedridden. Late in the evening one night, I was in the living room watching TV, my mom and brother were in the house somewhere and my dad was sleeping. My brother asked my mom about getting something from the grocery store so her and my brother were going to run there real quick and be back later. I asked if I could go along too and I was told no. Normally I would have just pouted and let it go but for some reason, I really wanted to go to the store with them that night. I cried and pouted and the answer was still NO. I got clever and decided to sneak out to the van and hid so I could go. Needless to say, I ended up going along with them, much to my mother’s disapproval.

When we returned from the store and turned on to our block, we saw fire trucks with flashing lights everywhere and I didn’t understand what was going on. We stopped and got out and we all realized our house had caught fire. My dad had gotten out and he was alright but the firefighters were working on the fire and all the smoke. I remember being in shock almost and very scared. It was a very surreal thing for me to imagine our house and all our belongings being up in smoke. I had a moment to think about the fact I could have been in the house and was relieved I wasn’t even though everyone seemed to think I could have woke my dad up sooner and got help quicker.

As the details of how the fire started reached my ears, I couldn’t help but get chills, though. The fire was caused by an electrical short in the stove in our kitchen. It blew up, causing the fire. Behind the stove was a wall, of course and on the other side was a recliner chair. To be more specific, my favorite recliner chair that I had been sitting in earlier, I ALWAYS sat in and if I had not left, I would have stayed sitting there watching TV. The wall was destroyed….so was that chair. I KNEW in my heart that I was meant to leave that house. I had a very strong overpowering feeling that led me to tears that I needed to get out of that house. And I knew when I heard what happened that if I had stayed, I would have died. There was no doubt in my mind then and there is still none to this day.

Family members have disagreed with me and said they think I would have been fine but they don’t know that feeling I had that night. They didn’t experience that overwhelming feeling I had when I KNEW that I had escaped death. They don’t have to believe if they don’t want to. Nothing will change the fact that I know that I was meant to not be there. I truly believe God and his angels were watching out for me and got not only me, but my mom and brother out so we wouldn’t have been in any danger.  My dad was asleep all the way on the other end of the house during it but God also got him out safely too and allowed him to call for help.

Our old house was fixed and remodeled some and now my middle sister and her family live there. We lost some things but were pretty lucky to have not lost more than we did.

I will always believe things happen for a reason and I will never believe it was coincidence that saved my life that night.

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Boundaries

 

Stitch scars from a fall 7 1/2 yrs. ago

When I looked up the definition of Boundaries, I got “something that indicates bounds or limits.” At first when I considered the theme, I, at first, thought about physical boundaries or dividing lines between spaces or land. After giving it more thought, I realized that boundaries could also be mental and emotional lines that “bound” you or restrain you. Boundaries don’t always have to be visible to everyone. They can also be in your head controlling you, keeping you from doing something.

The reason I chose the picture I did is not because the scars represent a boundary to me. I chose to take this picture because the scars remind me of an invisible boundary that affects me very much.

August 21st, 2003. I was leaving one of my best friend’s houses and as I walked down the 3 or 4 steps outside, I fell. It was the 3rd time in my life I had fallen down stairs but the worse I had gotten from the other falls was a torn ligament in 8th grade. This time, I attempted to get up, heard a crack, my right foot gave and down again I went. Turns out I ended up having a broken fibula and a detached deltoid ligament….from falling down a couple steps!

I had to have surgery and get a rod placed in my foot, otherwise, the tiniest fall and broken fibula again. I was in the hospital a couple days after the surgery and all I remember is waking up from nightmare after nightmare. I would sleep awhile and then dream of myself falling down all over again and then jump awake. The pain after my surgery was horrible. I tried to describe it to my mom as someone ripping off my skin around my ankle and nailing it back on, over and over and over. Probably why I had a button I could push every 15 minutes for morphine. Believe me, I tried to push that thing more than that but it wouldn’t go off until 15 minutes had passed. I never knew 15 minutes could be so long!

Anyways…back to what my accident has to do with boundaries. Since my accident, I have been deathly afraid of stairs without railings. At first, even stairs were hard but I got over that. I know it’s a mental thing because if there’s a rail, I can leave my hand to hover over it as I walk up the stairs and only grab if I feel it necessary. But even though it may be a mental thing, it still feels impossible for me to overcome.

I have had so many people act like I’m crazy when I get scared to go up stairs without railings. I try to explain but they just don’t get it. They think I’m ridiculous and should just get over it. What they don’t realize is nothing they can say to me is anything that I haven’t already told myself. I give myself a really hard time about it and I don’t even understand it myself. I’ll stand in front of the steps and think about stepping up and it’s like this force that I can’t understand stops me. It doesn’t help me at all when I consider that if I fell down stairs again, there’s a very good chance I would break something again.

I guess I could have taken pictures of stairs without railings but I don’t believe that the stairs are the boundaries I can’t cross. My real boundary is the mental aspect and I can’t exactly take a photo of that. I CAN take a photo of something I see and live with everyday of my life that reminds me of my boundaries though.

It’s not the greatest picture but I believe this theme, for me personally, has been about more than a picture. It’s been about talking about a very real fear I have and how I would like to be able to overcome it someday.

 

 



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