I remember back when I first started this blog and committed to posting daily. I remember it being so freeing to have blogging as a way to express my thoughts. One day, life changed, and blogging stopped. I went back and forth with restarting it, but it just never stuck. I would love to say my life has changed for the better since I stopped blogging, but that’s not true. I struggle with a lot of things, and it’s all inside my head and even spilling out. Some people suffer with insomnia. I would say I suffer with shutting off my mind completely enough to just relax. I hear people say “racing thoughts”, but for most people, I feel like their thoughts are of things to do or overanalyzing their days, worrying about the future, etc. Well, I think of mine as an “inner monologue” with the voice inside my head as a word composer. I lay awake a LOT with talking voices narrating my life and my feelings. It’s honestly like an inner Carrie from “Sex and the City” but a bit tamer. Oh, and THIS post is pieced together by last night’s monologue, by the way.
I don’t think I can remain sane any longer without returning to blogging. Even going to counseling twice a month is not enough. In fact, the counseling has made the need for blogging even MORE of an ache inside me. Bringing up things with someone only to realize there’s never enough time to get it ALL out… it’s agonizing! There’s too much in my head that needs to be out, and I’m not satisfied with just keeping it to myself. So here I go, back to blogging, for real THIS time. I’m going to put the good, the bad, and the ugly on display again. Whether one person reads it or not, at least it’ll be out of my head and not keeping me awake at night.
I’m back, blogging world! Say hi to the REAL Sharon. 🙂