(This is a spontaneous poem from MY heart and is 100% true feelings for me)

A Poem for my Abuser

My life was supposed to be different

I should have been a normal girl

I never should have gone through

What you put me through

I shouldn’t have been put into this situation

I shouldn’t still have nightmares of what happened

To me.

I hate you so much for how you made me feel

Over years and years of time

You left me feeling confused, abused and ashamed

Everywhere I went, I had the past in my head

Keeping me afraid and scared to act like everyone else

My mental growth was stunted because of you

I had a hard time trusting anyone

Thinking they would ALL do what you did

You lied to me, used me and made me feel dirty

You made me afraid to be ME

You made ME feel guilty when it was all YOUR fault!

All you cared about was what you wanted

All you wanted was to take from me

What was so precious and special

So you took it, without any visible regrets

Not caring how my life would be screwed up

And messed up from then on

How could you not care what I wanted?

Did you care what I needed…at all?

Did it matter to you that I walked around inside myself

Scared to death of everyone

Because of YOU?

Do you even care now?

Do you dream of what you did and regret?

Do you care that I still wake up

From nightmares of when I was a little girl?

Do you care that every time a man bosses me around

I think of you and break down in pain and anguish?

Do you care that the hurt you cause

Will forever be a burden on my soul?

They say it’s best to forgive

In this case, you will never deserve it.

I will NEVER forgive

I will NEVER forget

When you die and pay for what you did

It will still never be enough

Nothing is going to take away

The memory of what you did.

It took over two decades to break my silence

But I refuse to EVER let you control me from afar.

It may be too late to make you pay on earth

But I have faith that you WILL.

You may have stole my innocence

But you will no longer steal my soul.

YOU are the evil one

YOU are the one who should be ashamed

I will forever be the innocent one

I know that now

Evil may have used me

But I am NOT evil

I am a strong woman

Who has overcome

I am good and brave

And I no longer

Give you the right

To make me sad

To make me feel guilty

To make me feel dirty

And ashamed

You have no more

Power

Over me any more!

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