Yesterday, I ate Lunch at a Chinese Restaurant and at the end of the meal, I was given a Fortune Cookie, which has become pretty traditional, although NOT Chinese in origin. I never eat the cookies due to never acquiring a taste for them, but I always enjoy reading the fortune inside. When I read the fortune, I felt like it was a perfect one for me! My fortune said: “Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”
I believe this to be a perfect fortune for me as well as a great saying, too. So many times in my life, because of depression, I have focused only on the negatives and all the problems in my life and let them control me and be the focus in how I live. Even people without depression can sometimes focus TOO much on what’s wrong and forget to remember the important things. A lot of times my issues push me in the direction of taking a backseat on things or NOT getting out there and striving for what I want most. I talk myself out of going for what I really want because I constantly think of what I CAN’T do and all the problems that might arise along the way. Because of this, my problems literally PUSH me away from my dreams instead of towards them. I have to learn to follow the path I need to take to do what I love and really desire even if it scares me.
So, today, I dropped off resumes at 13 different doctor’s office in the hopes of acquiring a job answering phones and/or doing basic clerical skills with the future hope of becoming a full fledged secretary or receptionist. It’s not blogging for a living, but it is a job that I feel drawn to and I have a strong desire for. I truly enjoy doing clerical work and it makes me happy. In the back of my head, I worry that I won’t be good enough or I’m not as qualified as I believe I am, but I push away that doubt and KNOW that it’s something I want to do and I know that I’m a determined individual who CAN and WILL work hard and to the best of my ability. Writing and blogging are still what I love even more so I will continue to go after those dreams as well. Why not go after ALL the dreams you have for yourself?
I will be keeping this fortune close so I will always be able to give myself the reminder to not be pushed by my problems, but to be led by my dreams! I love how sometimes the boost you need the most can come not from eating a cookie, but a message inside a cookie. 🙂