I really believe that in moments where you don’t know what to do, once you get over that fear of worrying about it, clarity begins. For instance, right now, as much as I promise myself to be more organized and have topics and posts picked out days ahead of time…it NEVER works! At least not for a very long period of time. For awhile, the ideas flow and I have it all figured out but just like in life, you CAN’T have it all figured out forever. Sometimes you run out of ideas and you rack your brain then maybe you get lucky and an idea emerges, and sometimes you don’t…it’s like a coin toss.
Today, I sat here and thought hard of a topic for a bit then I just told myself, Forget it! and in that moment of non worry, I just cleared my mind and thought about whatever came without pressuring it. What came to my mind was a deep love for my blog and how I always seem to replace what I really want with close substitutes. I love to write and people suggest different jobs that would involve that and they all sound nice but if I were really honest, NONE of them are what my dream really is for myself now. If I could make a living as a blogger, I would be extraordinarily happy. Not just any blog, but a blog just like this one….maybe even THIS blog itself. I don’t want to write designated articles that are assigned to me, I don’t really want to edit other’s works and while reviews are fun, they just don’t make me giddy inside the way I feel when I post here everyday. I want to get paid to write what I want whether that be stories, poems or just about my own life in my own words. Sort of like Carrie in “Sex and the City” and how she writes about life in the city based on her own experiences. THAT would be amazing!
Right now, if you looked at my job on Facebook, you would see Unpaid Blog Writer. I love the sound of that title even though the rewards have never been monetary. Blogging, especially when I do personal pieces, is like a release of stress from within me that pours forth from my fingertips and out through the Internet. Currently, I try to sell Jewelry Candles for some money and while I believe in the product I sell….seeing “Blog Writer” as my title is just about the best title I could picture myself having by my name except for maybe “Mother” one day!
I guess I will have to keep dreaming AND blogging….but I can still wish, right? Maybe someday……Anything is possible!