TheRealSharon's Blog











{January 22, 2013}   My Biggest Issue with Changing is Other People

People can be aggravating! For me, I always seem to realize just HOW much so when I am attempting to make any change in my own life. I’m sure you know the types of people I’m referring to…The Naysayers, The Controllers, The Know-it-Alls,The Tempters,etc. I’m sure I could come up with a long list!

If you’ve read my blog since I started consistently blogging in 2011, you may have noticed I’ve changed quite a bit and I’m STILL changing, hopefully for the better. I’ve had an issue with depression since my late teens(at least that’s when it was diagnosed) and since almost a year ago, I have been implementing changes towards becoming a more positive minded person who doesn’t negative thinking hold me back. I made a little bit of progress at first, but it wasn’t really until I decided to do a lifestyle change that I really felt changed.

I don’t think losing weight in and of itself has helped the depression as much as just eating healthier has. I believe that a lot of what we eat DOES affect your mood and even before I started losing, I could tell that I just felt happier. My biggest issue now is STAYING that way is others, though.

How? Let me explain! First of all, I am NOT on a diet. If you would like to call a different way of eating a diet, you MAY, but I have discovered that telling myself that I am dieting doesn’t work. It’s a mind thing. The word “Diet” just feels temporary which makes the act of losing weight on a diet temporary and then you have this Yo-yo thing where you’re going back and forth and I’m just plain sick of that. So, 6 months ago, I embarked on a plan for a lifestyle change, whereby I would look at food differently for not just a short term, but forever. Yes, my doctor put me on a “diet” plan with rules but I go by his plan as a lifestyle for me, not as a diet. Whether or not you think it’s the same thing is up to you. The only thing that matters to me is how I view things and everyone is different. 6 months in, I consider myself not on a diet, not on a plan, but I like to say the way you eat is now my lifestyle. “Are you on a diet, Sharon?” “No, I just live a healthier lifestyle than I did 6 months ago!”

It works for me….but everyone else doesn’t always understand my way of thinking and they tend to say things that aggravate me. Isn’t that what people do? First, I have the Naysayers. The people who indirectly hint that things will go awry eventually. The ones who want to make sure I know that it IS a diet whether I choose to call it that or not. Thankfully, I don’t have too many of THOSE in my life. People like that I try to get rid of because they’re no good for me.

Controllers…..I definitely have those! Harder to dispose of cause I have some in my family. These are the ones who I hear in the background asking if I’m allowed to eat something on my plate. The ones who ask if certain things are on my “diet”…ugh, THAT word again! Controllers is what I call this type because whether they are directly controlling or not, they still make me second guess everything I’m doing and feel like I have to explain every single bite I eat! I have ate healthier for 6 months and I have lost a total of 65 pounds. I am serious about how I eat now and I don’t need others telling me what or not to eat…unless you’re my doctor, butt out! I have been eating this way long enough now that I know what is good and what is NOT for me, and whether others like it or not, I also refuse to let ANY food be considered BAD food and I have decided to not tell myself that I can’t have any type of food, I just simply ask myself if I really want it or not. Yes, I’m also reading a book that gives this advice, but I think it also makes perfect sense! Whenever you tell yourself that something is completely OFF limits, you crave it more because you think you can’t have it! For example, I have never been a big sweets eater and usually only like chocolate on certain “days” of the month LOL…when I told myself I could ONLY eat it then, I started craving it all the time! What the heck? But since I have allowed myself to eat a little bit of Dark Chocolate if I REALLY want it, I don’t crave it as much. Another little mind trick….So when people ask me, “Can you eat that?” “Yes, I can eat anything I want, but I don’t WANT that because it’s not healthy and not worth it to me!”

The Know-it-alls? I’m pretty much over them…..The ones who have been there, done that and try to tell me how I need to do things for the best outcome and their way is the best. Like I said earlier, everyone is different. I have found a good way that works for me and if your way works for you, fine….Let me do it my way, you do it yours!

Last, but not least, The Tempters! Those evil sneaky people who try to talk you into eating something you don’t really want or need…..~coughs~ My hubby!

I admit I HAVE given in some when he has tempted me, but I refuse to call it cheating….It’s NOT a diet, so I’m not cheating on a healthier lifestyle! I just decided to eat a little something every once in awhile that didn’t really fit my lifestyle…..kind of like when a girly girl who likes to stay home and read decides to go camping for a couple days? I had a taste of another lifestyle. Back when I was younger and DID go camping, what was the outcome? I realized how much I really disliked it and went back to my old lifestyle. Well, after having a bit of a taste of something unhealthy, I tend to feel a mood change, not of guilt, but that this unhealthy food is NOT making me feel as great as the healthy stuff did. So I then decide it’s back to the old lifestyle…which is now the new….

Everybody needs to try other things every once in awhile to remind them of this, right? I KNOW I will always eat a little unhealthy every once in awhile, but THIS time, I feel more assured than ever that I will return to eating healthy because for once, I have changed the way my mind thinks and views food and I’m slowly but surely getting to that place where I learn to use food to make me full in my stomach and NOT to feel happy or to just have something to do. I’m learning to give food the proper place in my life. I’m learning this on my own and I’d kindly appreciate the ones in my life to cheer me on, encourage me, and be by my side instead of putting me down, tempting me, or trying to control me.

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You know dark chocolate syrup (not prepared fudge mind you) over strawberries or bananas is an excellent treat with lots of nutrients! Unless it’s an emotional eating problem, that is, and you can’t stop. Keeping moving forward!



That sounds really yummy! 🙂



Your hubby is a good guy leave him alone-mysterious



Lol…love you too, Mr. Mysterious!



knotrune says:

Good for you! You’re doing brilliantly and I agree with you totally about lifestyle change rather than a diet. You keep it up! 🙂 I also agree about sometimes allowing yourself to eat things some people disapprove of, especially as it seems to mostly turn out that you didn’t even enjoy it as much as you used to. I’m reminded of what Paul said in one of the epistles (I forget which, I’m useless at quoting chapter and verse!) that all things are allowed, but not all things are helpful. It seems that with food, as with sin, once you make the changes and start living healthily, you just don’t like the old bad habits as much. I am greatly encouraged by this, thank you 🙂



Good comparison there and I’m glad to be an encouragement! 🙂



I totally agree with your thinking about a “diet” vs a healthy lifestyle change. The first is temporary and often doesn’t work, while the second is just better for all around health and signals that what you’re doing isn’t so much about weight as it is about having a healthy mind and body. My friend has been doing a similar thing, though she’s gone vegetarian too, and it’s definitely been a helpful mindset for her.



I eat a LOT of veggie patties and things like that and I think they are REALLY good..but I don’t know if I could go completely vegetarian because I LOVE Chicken and Seafood too much! As far as Red Meat, I’m not a huge fan anyways so I could give that up pretty easy!



I agree with absolutely everything you’re written!

I’ve tried to stop looking at my weight loss endeavors as diets and for me, I went too far the other way . . . tried to make too many changes at once that I couldn’t keep up with them . . . so I’ve found a middle road that works for ME. I’m back on a plan and while it’s only been a few days, it’s been fabulous so far (and you’ve been a HUGE inspiration!). It may not be 100% sustainable long-term, but I’ll make transitions as I need to . . . . the point is, like you said, that we find what works best for each of us . . . . And I think we’ve both done the yo-yo thing often enough that we know what doesn’t work for us.

Oh, and I’m a huge fan of mind tricks! And I 1000% agree with not cutting anything out completely!

You are doing fabulously, Sharon . . . you and your doctor are the only ones who have a say in any of this (and ultimately, not even your doc . . . you make your final decisions). Your success speaks for itself and anyone who wants to throw anything negative into that needs to back off and let you do your thing because you’re awesome! 🙂



Thanks! 🙂
I’m rooting for you!



[…] from the “Mr.”) on January 22nd when I received a comment on my post entitled “My Biggest Issue with Changing is Other People”. I had teased about my husband in this post and how he likes to tempt me into eating unhealthy […]



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