THE DIETER’S PRAYER
Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
Incited by my wicked diet.
“We are what we eat,” said a wise old man,
Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can.
To rise on Judgment Day, it’s plain,
With my present weight, I’ll need a crane.
So grant me strength that I may not fall,
Into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
That my soul may be polyunsaturated
And show me the light that I may bear witness,
To the President’s Council on Physical Fitness,
And at oleomargarine I’ll never mutter,
For the road to Hell is paved with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
And Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in pepperoni,
The Devil himself in each slice of bologna.
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
And Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice,
Cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
Deliver me from jujube’s.
And when my days of trial are done,
And my war with malted milk balls won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe–size 30 long.
I can do it Lord, if you’ll show to me,
The virtues of lettuce and celery.
Teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
And of pasta a la Milanese.
And crisp-friend chicken from the South,
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth!
*This was in a book I’m reading that gives tips and inspiration for losing weight. It’s a humorous Christian poem, but even if you don’t consider yourself one, I think you will still find this funny!*
I started this post out humorous cause the news the scale brought me this morning was not exactly exciting. I gained back a pound since Friday and yes, it’s frustrating, but at the same time I’m not worried like you may think. I have been exercising a lot lately and I know muscle weighs more than fat so I really think that may be the reason. I don’t feel guilty because I can honestly say I haven’t cheated once since I started. I have been fully committed to changing my life for the better and I feel changes in my body whether I see them as fast as I would wish or not. Sure, I would LOVE to drop like 10 pounds a week but that’s not realistic and I know it. Not only is it not realistic but dropping too much too fast can also mean extra skin just hanging there once you lose a lot. I do NOT want that, believe me! So, I am going to continue eating like my doctor said, exercising and just cross my fingers that next Monday, I will see a reduction…even if it’s a small one.
Today is hard on the exercise front. I ended up stuck in Jury Duty ALL day and to be honest, I am exhausted and sleepy and don’t feel like doing anything. I also know I don’t HAVE to because I have the past 4 days and there’s nothing wrong with taking a break. However, I know that if I push through my mind telling me I can’t do it that I will be thankful I DID after it’s done.
So…it’s 7:38 p.m. right now. I ate my last meal a little over an hour ago and I will be fitting in my Just Dance Sweat program sometime tonight before my head hits the pillow. I have a feeling I will be crashing early tonight….but not before I exercise. 🙂