I went to the doctor today for a checkup and to ask him some questions and I was faced once again with what I always know will come up: my weight. Even just short term tasks leave me in pain in my muscles and joints and basically, my body is telling me that it’s breaking down on me. That’s what my doctor heard in my words and I believe him. Anybody who is obese and knows it KNOWS their bodies are in bad shape. I’ve known it for years and in the past, I have even took huge steps to change things. If you read my blog last year, you might have even read about how I lost a ton of weight and then was stuck for a long period of time. I KNOW that this is the reason I lost hope and pretty much gave up. I have tried for a long time to find hope again because I know that I can’t possibly change my life if I don’t believe I can.

Today, my doctor told me to start a 1200 calorie a day diet with 3 small meals, NO snacking and only 30 mg of carbs per meal…..It didn’t seem TOO bad until I realized how much carbs are in everything, even drinks!  My doctor has told me to keep a food journal and come in every 2 weeks, for free, for a weigh in and he will look through my food journal and try to help me. Just a short five minute appointment and it’s MY choice whether to do so or not, but the offer is there if I want help. As drastic as it sounded to me, I found myself thinking, “Yea, I think I could try it” and then at lunch, I told my mom, “I’m going to try it, but I just don’t think it will work”. Her response? “That’s a defeatist attitude”. And she would be right….it’s all I have ever had since the time before I got stuck and could no longer lose weight. To be honest with myself, I tend to have a defeatist attitude with a lot of things in my life. I tell myself over and over again that certain good things are never going to happen and let’s face it, I can’t get disappointed if I didn’t believe it in the first place, right?

The problem with a defeatist attitude is you’re setting yourself up for failure. It’s one thing to be realistic with myself, but quite another to be self deprecating and doubt myself. I almost think my attitude is some sort of protection from being hurt by failure.

So tomorrow is my anniversary and we have a gift card to Olive Garden that I am going to enjoy, but Friday I am starting this plan. I refuse to call it a diet, I’ve always hated that word and partly because it has the word “die” in it….maybe cause you feel you’re going to die doing it! It’s a new way of eating to live instead of living to eat….those were my doctor’s words. I am going to wholeheartedly try to stick with the plan and see what happens while fighting every day(or every minute) to not have a defeatist attitude. I am not lying when I say this is going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done.

I am committed through my blog to this challenge, yes, I’m going to go for it and call it a challenge….let’s see, Project Healthier Me or something of that sort! When I committed to blogging every day for a year, I was able to do it because I had committed publicly to it. I am sincerely hoping that by committing to eating healthier and really trying to lose weight through my blog, I will have the strength to do this too! I know I have many friends and family that can stick by me and I am soooo going to need the words of encouragement. Anyone who has tried to lose a lot of weight knows how hard it is and also, how lonely you can feel if no one is pushing you. So push me, people! I need help to stay committed!

And now, I am going to do something incredibly hard for me and let my weight be known…..AH! I have skinny friends who wouldn’t dare tell their weight, so this is hard but I really want to just let everything out there and get motivated to do this. As of my doctor’s appointment, I weigh 368 pounds….: ( Yes, I know..it’s bad. Almost 29, 5’5″ and just way too much weight. Putting that number out there may cause me to get some bad comments and even made fun of, but I sincerely hope my loyal readers will back me on wanting to change my life for the better and not just be hung up on the number. There isn’t any bad comment someone can say that isn’t anything I haven’t heard in my life or even thought about myself, believe me. If you can’t handle the truth, then you don’t have to read my blog. I only need people who are going to help me and not hurt me, because there’s already too much negativity in my life.

I will be blogging about my weight loss process at least once a week to keep myself going as well as probably doing other posts because I feel blogging is going to be a great outlet for me during this. I hope you guys will stick around and wish me good luck!


  1. If you’re going to the Olive Garden, you don’t have to feel like you need to punish yourself from eating–there’s lots of great options there like the Mixed Grill and their salmon and steaks. You can also have them substitute out the pasta in a dish for vegetables or asparagus (!!!) with the pasta’s sauce and it’s still pretty tasty. It’s that kind of perspective that will help when you lose your weight.

    Note that I said when there, not if. Gotta see the goal to go after it. At the same time, you should probably look not only at what you eat, but why you eat.

    Tony Robbins explains that a need for comfort and certainty is one of our basic human needs–so if you go home and know you can dissolve whatever issues you had during the day through eating, the need is met. However, we can get caught in an unhealthy cycle where we know what we’re doing isn’t helpful for weight loss, but keep doing it out of want for that comfort. Take a look at this video: http://bit.ly/MgbN9w It does a great job explaining our different needs and how those sorts of habits develop–and more importantly, how to stop the difference between what we know we should do and what we end up doing.


    1. You’re right, I think it was more about celebrating my anniversary BIG and having one last day to eat whatever, guilt free, you know?
      But I definitely know I CAN still eat out, it’s just a matter of me asking for things without bread and substituting unhealthy things for good things. 🙂
      Thanks for the tips and advice, I appreciate it so much! I am definitely keeping goals in my mind!


  2. right now, you weigh exactly 40 lbs more than i did when i had weight loss surgery. my only suggestion in addition to the doctor’s would be NOT to confine yourself to 3 meals a day. i cut down to 1000 calories and walking a mile a day (which was pure agony) and I told you this story, so you know it didn’t work. my one suggestion would be to distribute your calories through about 5 meals a day. I’ve noticed that even post-surgery i can gain weight, altho I’ve never been back above 200 again. i gain weight when i starve myself all day and eat one big meal. But if i stick with the plan of eating about 5 times a day, distributing fewer calories over more meals, i never feel really hungry. it’s like i’m pre-empting the hunger eating a snack. research it online and i think you’ll find some back-up to this plan. in fact, i’m a little surprised your doctor suggested a 3-meal a day plan. BUT, i’m glad you finally found a doctor who is willing to talk to you and work with you and help you go that extra mile toward success. losing weight through lowering calories and moving more works great, but it takes SO much effort on our part, and as humans, we are weak and it’s hard. whatever you need to help you along, someone to walk with or just for moral support, you know i’m there. having been there, i worry about you more than you can imagine. and you can’t let pincher distract you!!!


  3. Well done Sharon. Congratulations on putting it out there – any bad comments you receive can be easily deleted from your blog and it may take a little longer, but also from your mind. Don’t tell yourself “I am going to lose weight”. Set yourself a realistic goal say 10 lbs in a month (or whatever figure you and your doctor come up with). Saying I am going to lose weight isn’t specific and goals must be SMART – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. We will all cheer you on in this endeavour/challenge. As a Life coach I have had several clients with a great deal of weight to use. Would you like me to send you my Goal sheet and the accompanying notes. I am happy to do so under separate email if you would like. Cheering for you – Judith


    1. I have comments moderated so I definitely will be using the delete if people leave mean, hurtful comments that do not help…luckily, no one has yet and I am thankful for all the nice, supporting comments I have received. I would definitely LOVE to see the goal sheet and try it..I already have some shorter term goals with my weight and some long term ones. My goals are more about being able to fit into something by a certain date or do something again by a certain date versus the pounds. Saying goals to myself today really gave me strength to get through this first day!

      My e-mail is greeneyedramaqueen@gmail.com and thanks so much for your support!


  4. Sharon, How are you going?
    Have you ever thought about the mindset angle – like finding a way of turning off all the niggly thoughts in your mind and getting really focused? I have a series of mp3s and you just listen to one daily and it provides the focus and habits for a healthy lifestyle, resulting most importantly weight loss, very nicely over 5 weeks. If you are interested in looking and listening go to my hypnosis cd and mp3 link through my avatar.
    I wish you daily success in this. A little bit done differently each day builds for the next, little steps soon add up to big ones. The process is so worth it.


    1. Well, today was my first day and I have been successful, although it HAS been hard. I have been repeating positive thoughts to myself all day because as a sufferer of depression, I know it’s really easy for me to get down and depressed and want to give up. I am just so thankful about all the support I have received and I am really excited to see the changes come about!
      Thanks so much for the support and I definitely will have to check out your link sometime!


      1. Hi Sharon. we need to get you in a good frame of mind here. What about a supportive Skype conversation? You name a time that suits you in the next couple of days and I will work around it. A half hour would be fine. I am an Australian living in England. We have the olympic games starting next week. The hype is huge over here now. Would love to talk.


  5. Congratulations for taking this huge step in your life, probably the biggest challenge you’ll ever take. Keep it mind what you want to do is not impossible. Other people have done it before you. But I think the most important part will be support. That’s why Weight Watchers is so successful, because people are accountable (they step on the scale every week) and get support from the other members. Can your doctor recommend a free weight loss group you could join? I think it would really help, on top of support from your husband, family and friends. You should enroll your husband too, the buddy system works very well. As for being hungry during the day, it’s going to happen. It’s a normal sensation but you probably forgot how you feel. Just don’t get too hungry so you don’t eat too much to make up for it. And I’d drop all the sodas from your diet. So many hidden calories, you don’t want that.

    Good luck and I can’t wait to see how things go!


    1. That’s why I decided to make things public because now I have others to keep me accountable and on the right rack. My one a day Mountain Dew will have to go because it has more mgs. of carbs than I am allowed per meal. I have actually decided to do one bottle of water with Mio energy because it has a little caffeine in it without calories or carbs and I hope that will keep me from getting a caffeine headache…
      I started today and it has been hard but I am just repeating positive thoughts to myself, and I feel like I can do it! 🙂

      Thanks so much for the support!


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