TheRealSharon's Blog











{February 9, 2012}   Coping with the big D

I realized something the other day at the doctor’s office when he calmly and nicely talked to me about my depression. He asked me what I did to cope with my depression and my mind went blank for a space of time. After a couple minutes and him offering ideas of what I might do, I said, “I blog”. This response was well liked by my new doctor, but he told me a lot of conquering depression is learning good old fashioned coping skills.

The thing is, I had never really stopped and thought of how I DO cope with depression. It kind of shocked me that I wasn’t able to quickly rattle off ways I cope as easy as I think a lot of people not going through depression might be able to. I mean, there are lots of things I like to do, but things I DO to deal with my depression….that’s another story altogether. In fact, if I really search deep within myself and be honest, the fact that I have survived depression for over a decade MEANS I HAVE coped somehow, right?

But just because I HAVE coped,  doesn’t mean it was in healthy ways that helped me really CONTROL it. I think realizing this is what made me see that I HAVE to learn how to control my depression and I HAVE to do it now or nothing else positive is going to come into my life. My weight is a struggle for me, but I will never gain the willpower or motivation to fight against it if I don’t conquer my depression first.

So far, I have taken teensy weensy little steps and while I almost want to berate myself for this and force myself into bigger ones, taking it slow IS what I have to do to make it stick. I have started with doing some daily reading for inspiration and I am also putting little post it notes throughout my house with little inspiring sayings on them such as, “SMILE, it will make you look younger!” and one that reminds me to ask if my thoughts are helpful and affirmative or negative and critical?

I really think it’s important for me to keep that one question ALWAYS in my mind. Depression makes you think very negative and dark thoughts. If I can remind myself that my thoughts aren’t doing me or anyone else any good, then maybe I can learn to catch the thoughts like a dreamcatcher and switch them to positive.

I also discovered one bit of advice in this Life Management book I am reading that I think others might benefit from as well. It’s about changing from a “judger” to a “learner”. Instead of saying, “Why doesn’t she like me?” or “What’s wrong with me?”, learn to change your thoughts into ones like, “How could I have done this differently?” or “What could I do better next time?” So instead of judging YOURSELF or others in a situation, try to figure out what you can learn from it instead.

I KNOW I have a long way to go and I also know that self help books or any other kind of books will NOT help me on their own, which is why I am working up to the step of taking counseling. I know there are mixed opinions on that subject but I feel like sometimes it’s necessary to ask for help. There’s also the added benefit of being able to just confidentially spill out your heart and know the one listening can truly understand.

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To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

• What are you currently reading?
• What did you recently finish reading?
• What do you think you’ll read next?

What are you currently reading? I’m reading about 4 books at the same time, but it’s because they’re more of daily reading…..

“Think and be Happy:365 Empowering Thoughts” by Shadonna Richards (This is obviously meant for daily through the year, but I may read a couple on some days instead of just one)

“Daily Readings for Difficult Days” by Jennifer Carter-Christian Literature to give you inspiration during tough times and of course, difficult days….I have seen some scripture, but even if you weren’t Christian, I think the little stories could still inspire you some

“Daily Dose of Determination” by Melanie Bonita-Another Christian Literature book, this is actually meant as a 90 day book to help give you determination…

“The Feel Good Factory on Life Management: Mind Clearing, Path Finding, Change Making Ideas to Revitalize your life” by Elisabeth Wilson-I LOVE this book so far, it includes lots of tips and advice for decluttering your life and working towards your goals…..this isn’t a daily type of book, although I am reading through it slowly, bits and pieces and trying to really digest what it has to say

(Since at least 3 of these books I will be reading on for awhile, I’m not going to relist them each week. I will just mention them again when I am done reading them because I plan on reading other books in the time being as well. You may have noticed a theme with these books…..Well, they were all FREE books I got when they were shown as free and they are on my Kindle, Since I am focusing on controlling my depression this month, I decided to read some books that are meant to uplift and inspire me.)

What did you recently finish reading? “The Grimm Curse(Once upon a time is now)” by Stephen Carpenter-short novella that the tv show “Grimm” was roughly based off of

“The Dirty Parts of the Bible” by Sam Torode-Funny book….not what you’re probably expecting from the title

“The Scarlet Letter” by Nathaniel Hawthorne- PLEASE tell me what I was thinking…no offense to those who like this book, but omg….I was SO glad when I finished reading it. I never HAD to read it throughout school but I knew the premise and something just made me want to do a little bit deeper reading than I had been doing of late. It’s not that his writing wasn’t good, it was just sleep inducing and his sentences run on and on so that ONE huge paragraph might be ONE sentence. I found myself having to slow down and concentrate hard not to lose what was trying to be said in the midst of comma after comma separating what SHOULD have been quite a few sentences instead of one.

What do you think you’ll read next? “Stay tuned” by Lauren Clark-a Kindle book that sounded interesting to me 🙂 It’s supposed to be about a #1 news team becoming the top story instead of reporting it…..We’ll see how it goes!



Welcome!

As always, you may answer these questions in your own post or in the comments section!

This 5 Question Friday was brought to you by:

On to the questions!

1. What have you done recently that you are proud of? I guess the fact that I have actually been drinking a lot more water

2. What is your favorite way to work out? Or if you don’t workout, what are you wanting to try? I’m not a fan of working out, but I like to dance…I’m wanting to start using my Zumba game and Just Dance game on the Wii to work out with..

3. If you knew your best friend was cheating on spouse would you tell? Luckily, this has never occurred so I didn’t have to test it….It would be hard for me to betray a best friend like this, but I definitely would try to talk my best friend into telling his or her spouse on their own and being open and honest with them. I think it’s better for a person to be upfront and honest then to lie and then the person finds out through someone else. I would tell my best friend that I didn’t agree with what they were doing and I think if it continued for very long, I probably WOULD warn my best friend that I was going to have to say something….maybe do an intervention…

4. If you could afford a live-in maid or nanny, would you have one?
Heck yea, I would! I don’t need the nanny yet, but I would LOVE a maid to clean up after my messy man! LOL
5. Do you stress out about birthdays (specifically the age) or do you enjoy them? I have done a little of both in the past, especially as I turned 26 and saw I was getting closer to 30, but now I have resigned myself to the inevitable and try to be just grateful that I have even lived this long, because I have known many people that haven’t made it to my age. That alone should make me appreciate my age. 🙂

And, a bonus question…answer at your own risk, or not at all! (Or something…)

Bonus: Lights off or on? Judging by the comment before this, I am assuming this is referring to a naughty activity….I don’t mind answering simply  that I have no preference with the lights….;) but that’s all I’m saying…..


Month one’s goal was slow in getting started, but I am now happy to report that I have been drinking a LOT more water in the past week. I intend to keep it up and even increase it throughout the rest of this year.
I’ve been struggling to pick month two’s goal, but have finally decided on what it will be. This month I want to make a strong effort on working on my depression and coping skills. I think I have been putting this on the back burner and letting other things become much more important than my mental health and I want to make THIS my focus for the month instead of just something I worry about later. For me, this means actually scheduling some counseling, reading up on coping techniques and actively making it a point to relearn how I handle conflict and stress.
I don’t expect many others to probably share this specific goal with me, but I think learning to handle my depression in a mature and more effective way is what I have to do before I can work on other goals I have. It’s surprising what you are capable of doing if you can rise above your depression and not let it control you.
Here’s hoping I have good luck especially with this goal!



To play along, just answer the following three (3) questions…

• What are you currently reading?
• What did you recently finish reading?
• What do you think you’ll read next?

What are you currently reading? “The Grimm Curse(Once upon a time is now)” by Stephen Carpenter-A Kindle book, real short, only about 85 pages, so shouldn’t take me much time at all

What did you recently finish reading? “Down the Drain” by Daniel Pyle-another very short and free when I got it, Kindle book…creepy read

“The Emerald Talisman” by Brenda Pandos-free Kindle Book, 1st in a trilogy, I LOVED this book and I am planning to read the other 2 but they do cost a little so I am going to try to get the 2nd through my Books Free and buy the 3rd one later unless it shows up free sometime soon 🙂

“The Mancode Exposed”-Rachel Thompson-Free when I got it, but no longer free….very funny read!

“Darkness Under the Sun” by Dean Koontz-short novella for Kindle that I paid for

“When parents text: So much said, so little understood” by Sophie Fraioli-The book from the site, whenparentstext.com, very funny, read on my Kindle

“Mile 81” by Stephen King-short novella on the Kindle

“Don’t look behind you” by Ann Rule-pretty much the only book I consider LONG that I have read recently…I love her true crime stories!

I read A LOT of books on Kindle this week, but a majority of them were pretty short, so that’s why!

What do you think you’ll read next? Either something else on my Kindle or I might work on reading books 5, 6 and 7 of the Vampire Kisses series by Ellen Schreiber that I started over the holidays…

*Note to blog followers, I will be restarting Mirthful Monday next Monday. I know I haven’t done it for a couple weeks, but I’m NOT getting rid of it, I was just taking a break from blogging a bit. For those interested in my ” 12 in ’12” journey, I will be posting about how the first month went and what my 2nd month goal is going to be, so stay tuned for that! :)*



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