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{November 21, 2011}   Mirthful Monday-Thanksgiving Edition

Since this is Thanksgiving Week, this Mirthful Monday is dedicated to Thanksgiving funnies! Feel free to come back and re-read this post on Thanksgiving Day if you need something to keep you awake after the big meal!

The football-playing turkey

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.”

“Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

From thebackpew.com

At Thanksgiving with her folks, single Sally prayed the following, “Oh Dear Lord, I’m thankful for all the blessing in my life. And, I’m not asking for this for myself. But please send my mother a son-in-law.”

*****

Billy: I can’t wait to go to Grandma’s for Thanksgiving. My cousin’s going to be there, and he has three feet!
Willie: Wow! How’d that happen?
Billy: I don’t know. My aunt wrote my parents and said, “You won’t recognize little Howie. He’s grown another foot.”

******

Did You Know?

  • Turkeys can have heart attacks. Groups of turkeys, sometimes known as a rafter of turkeys would drop dead when the Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier nearby.
  • Apparently turkeys can drown if they look up when it is raining.
  • Excessive turkey breeding has caused turkey breasts to grow so enormous that the turkeys sometimes fall over.
  • The Pilgrim Fathers would not eat lobster because they thought it was a giant insect

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!.

The Ears of Wheat by The Brothers Grimm

Ages upon ages ago, says the German grandmother, when angels used to wander on earth, the ground was more fruitful than it is now. Then the stalks of wheat bore not fifty or sixty fold, but four times five hundred fold. Then the wheat- ears grew from the bottom to the top of the stalk.

But the men of the earth forgot that this blessing came from God, and they became idle and selfish.

One day a woman went through a wheat-field, and her little child, who accompanied her, fell into a puddle and soiled her frock. The mother tore off a handful of the wheat-ears and cleaned the child’s dress with them.

Just then an angel passed by and saw her. Wrathfully he spoke, ‘Wasteful woman, no longer shall the wheat- stalks produce ears. You mortals are not worthy of the gifts of Heaven!’
Some peasants who were gathering wheat in the fields heard this, and falling on their knees, prayed and entreated the angel to leave the wheat alone, not only on their account, but for the sake of the little birds who otherwise must perish of hunger.

The angel pitied their distress, and granted a part of the prayer. And from that day to this the ears of wheat have grown as they do now.

_____________________________________________________________

Giving Thanks Day 21: Today, I am thankful for poetry and how so much can be expressed with it. To go along with this, I am sharing a poem about giving thanks I found.

I am thankful:

For the wife
Who says it’s hot dogs tonight
Because she is home with me
And not out with someone else.

For the husband
Who is on the sofa
Being a couch potato
Because he is home with me
And not out at the bars.

For the teenager
Who is complaining about doing dishes
Because it means she is at home,
Not on the streets.

For the taxes I pay
Because it means
I am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party
Because it means I have
Been surrounded by friends

For the clothes that fit a little too snug
Because it means
I have enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work
Because it means
I am out in the sunshine.

For a lawn that needs mowing,
Windows that need cleaning,
And gutters that need fixing
Because it means I have a home.

For all the complaining
I hear about the government
Because it means
We have freedom of speech.

For the parking spot
I find at the far end of the parking lot
Because it means
I am capable of walking,
And I have been blessed with transportation.

For my huge heating bill
Because it means
I am warm.

For the lady behind me in church
Who sings off key
Because it means I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing
Because it means
I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles
At the end of the day
Because it means I have been
Capable of working.

For the alarm that goes off
In the early morning hours
Because it means
I am alive.

And finally, for too much e-mail
Because it means
I have friend who is thinking of me.

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