In just a few short weeks, it will be the day where millions will brave the frigid temperatures and mile long lines with coffee and energy drinks galore, hands full of store ads and itineraries, ready to sprint through the doors of department stores nation wide and pray they will be among the lucky few to get that prized item. For the unlucky employees, this is a day they dread and have nightmares about. The day where people are even more careless with items than usual. Clothes will be strewn all over the store, toys will be left in piles that make the messiest kid’s room look like nothing and items will be found in hidden locations. Like Blu-rays found in the men’s boxer section for those who like to hide their items so no one else will buy them. There will be fights over items that could be found cheaper online if they looked hard enough and cops will be on stand by to break things up. People who just the day before were giving thanks, watching ball games and dreaming of presents as they marked up the store ads will turn into criminals and monsters. It’s almost a guarantee that even the nicest, sweetest person going into the store humming Christmas carols will end up leaving the store grumpy and ready to commit murder. I know…cause I’ve been there.
I’ve been among the ones who go to the stores at the crack of dawn and tried to be the nice girl that waits her turn patiently. I have then realized that there’s not another day that shows how Nice guys(or girls) finish last MORE than on Black Friday. It is then I consider how Friday the 13th and Black Friday really should work together in a film franchise. I could completely see Black Friday as a horror movie. I’ve been the girl who walks amongst the crowd, awaiting my turn, only to have people cut in line, shove me out of the way without as much as an I’m sorry or Excuse me, move my cart to get around it without asking, and even look through the items of my cart while watching me from the corner of their eyes for their chance to steal. Black Friday brings out the evil in people, I tell you! You can TRY to go into it with a good attitude, but you can bet everyone else will be rubbing off their bad moods on to you. BUT alas, I have a plan!
This year, I will stock up on water guns so if anyone shoves me, cuts in line or messes with my cart, they will be wet and cold! I will wear headphones with cheery Christmas music blasting in my ears so as not to hear their foul language and criticism ushered at me. I will go days before and hide the items I want, be they on sale or not, in the most ridiculous places ever. Such as behind the toilet paper, underneath the least popular dog food, inside the couch cushions, etc. Then on the day of the sale, I should be able to get to my items easily because I have hid them in less frequented sections of the store on this day. I will then use a blanket to cover my items, thus keeping them from nosy people’s curiosities and proceed to check out. Once I get close to the line, I will get a pre-planned phone call with bad news and yell out and cry that, “Oh no! What will I do? I have an emergency(some one’s dying) and I must get there at once! But I have items that I can’t leave behind….my little girl has wanted this, *pick up item* forever and she has been really sick…it’s her last wish!”….Then some one will feel sorry for me and let me go in front, thus ensuring I am in and out of the store at lightning speed!
Oh, who am I kidding? As if I really WOULD go with that plan…….But I still say Black Friday is EVIL! Not saying I will or won’t participate this year…but it’s evil! Some one really should write a horror movie about it!
BLACK FRIDAY-“She went in for an X-Box Kinect and Just Dance 3, she came out with a missing front tooth and handcuffs! Never underestimate what people will do for their kids!”
*This is meant to be a funny look at Black Friday by me for the purposes of this week’s Mirthful Monday*
Giving Thanks Day #7: Today, I give thanks for the ability to have a good sense of humor! To be able to be straight forward about the negatives of a situation but make it comical instead of dreary. When things are bad, a sense of humor is good for lightening the mood.