It’s time for another Mirthful Monday!

This week is dedicated to quotes. Quotes that make you smile and quotes that make you laugh, a little of both and I hope you will see at least a few you have never heard before! 🙂

These next quotes come from a book I own called “Wit & Wisdom of Famous American Women”

Tallulah Bankhead: “I met the most marvelous man. He’d be wonderful for you.”

Peggy Joyce: “Is he my type?”

Tallulah Bankhead: “Sure—-he’s alive and breathing.”

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh—at yourself. -Ethel Barrymore

I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower.-Gypsy Rose Lee

When I want to really blast one, I just loosen my girdle and let ‘er fly.-Babe Didrikson Zaharias

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.-Louisa May Alcott

I’m having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife.-Ella T. Grasso

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but unlike charity, it should end there.-Clare Booth Luce

The rest of the quotes were found in various places online.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.P.J. O’Rourke

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?Phyllis Diller

I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included. Steven Wright

“Friends are like bras:close to your heart and there for support.”-Unknown

“You know, someone actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said, “Parking Fine”.” Tommy Cooper

“An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”-Agatha Christie

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.” – Anonymous

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers”. – Homer Simpson

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles Schulz

“Why is it when we talk to God we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?”
– Lily Tomlin

I saw the movie, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ and I was surprised because I didn’t see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they’re crouching and hidden.
~ Steve Martin

“Friends are God’s ways of apologizing for our families.”
~ Anonymous

Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. William Shakespeare

13 Comments

  1. So sorry I missed this on Monday! It would have been a better day had I read them. Favorite is this “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” Probably because of my age!

    Like

  2. I have always loved the Agatha Christie quote, but sorry Sharon, she was British not American. Wonder how she got into that book?
    Anyway I have been looking for an archeologist for a few years now. 🙂

    Like

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