TheRealSharon's Blog











{August 20, 2011}   Evil Pirate Bums stole my tent!

I bet you’re wondering about my strange title. Nobody stole my tent….I don’t even have a tent. But we DID see a beggar on the side of the road in Austin that had a sign that started with this. It provided a real good laugh….a beggar with a sense of humor. But then, me being me, I started thinking…what if it’s NOT a joke? What if there really were some bums and the leader had an eye patch and a bandanna on his head and they came and stole this guy’s tent!?

And this story was just one of many this past weekend in Austin that had me laughing. Here are some more of the LOL moments I had with my family…for your enjoyment!

Actually, there were a few things that occurred on the road before I got to Austin. If only I could have mastered the art of taking speed photos while driving, MAYBE I could have snapped a photo of the eighteen wheeler that flew by me with shark teeth around its front grille. Seeing as Shark Week wasn’t that long ago, I started to wonder if maybe land wasn’t even safe from sharks anymore!

The next incident on the road was funny to me, but probably not the other person. While going through smaller cities, I am one of those rare people who actually slow down. Obviously, not every one else does this, so as always I slowed down and this red car kept going along the same speed and passed by me. Well…grr….I’ve seen this happen countless times and they always get away with it, ALWAYS. Not that day, though. Out of nowhere, I see flashing lights in the distance and I KNOW I haven’t done anything wrong. They pull over the red car and I continue on my trip. I couldn’t help but laugh a little…maybe this is wrong of me, but it was nice to finally see someone that disobeyed actually get stopped for it.

A little later I came across a work zone with cones set up where I literally felt like I was driving through an obstacle course. The cones swerved right and left, going from one lane to the next. Some of them had obviously been knocked down so I had to slither like a snake through the downed ones. I felt like I was doing one of those special traffic courses…I was actually sad the cones weren’t there on my trip back. 😦

Then, my first day in Austin….we went a couple of places in my sister’s new minivan. I really love that thing, too, especially the little video screen in the middle where you can see behind you when backing up. I quickly learned another example of new technology on this trip. My sister and youngest niece went into H.E.B. to get a few things, leaving me, my mom, and my other niece in the van. Sara(my niece) wanted to make the music be heard in the very back of the van, so she started pushing buttons by the radio. All of a sudden, the van started asking about hooking up your bluetooth. None of us could figure how to get it off this and back on the radio, so I really thought my niece had broken my sister’s new ride. It was asking all sorts of silly questions and we were all making jokes about the situation and cracking up. I even told her there could be an Eject button somewhere that would throw us out of the car! All of a sudden, I heard my voice repeated back to me….it recorded my voice! What is this, a spy van? Then it started asking for voice responses to do several things, one of which was to Delete the Audio player. So my niece was like, DELETE….and she then got a response of “Name too short”. At this point, we were all cracking up so hard, I’m sure people passing by were wondering what was wrong with us. She DID finally get it off there, but she didn’t even know how. My sister came back without a clue until my niece told her to push the same button she had tried and it got it back on the bluetooth thingy….At that point, I started laughing again and told my sister that she had broken the van. She got it off the bluetooth thing right away, though…not sure how. Sara said she had the magic touch. I think so….but by laughing, my sister KNEW something was up and got the whole story.

Sara cracked me up a lot that weekend, though. Like later that night when we had supper. We had chicken and pork ribs where the ribs were like T boned shaped almost. She carried a bone in the living room and asked me what I thought it reminded me of. I told her, it was like a cross….but without the top. She then told me it looked like a Longhorn(bull)…then there was a slight pause and she added, “or Ovaries”, said with a straight face.

Then her dad wanted her to take her sister to the barn, drop her off at this ice cream place for a meeting and pick her up. Since Sara needed gas, he figured this was “on her way”. Sara disagreed, left the room and came back with a small dry erase board and some markers…..she then started drawing a rough sketch of the path she would have to take and describe how the gas station was right here(very close) and the other locations were further off so it wasn’t exactly on her way. I laughed through this whole explanation just because of the way she drew it and described everything….but the funniest moment for me was at the end when she made this face and did this over exaggeration with her voice while stating how she would have done ALL THAT when, “All I wanted was some gas, you know?!”

My favorite moment of the weekend with her was definitely going to the bank drive through, though. Apparently, before this time, she had always used the business lane where you just hand your money right to them to deposit. She didn’t know this was the business lane and I’m sure they let her get away with it….because bless her, she’s a blonde and she definitely has her moments. But this is why I love her.

My sister pulled up to the lane where you get one of those cylinders, open it, etc. You all know this already, right? Well….my niece first picks it up, looks at it, then asks, “How do you open this Space Container?”…..Laugh 1 ensues…She does manage to open it herself, places it back in the slot, then sits back down. A minute later, my sister tells her she needed to push SEND…..Laugh 2….She replies, Oh, duh and pushes SEND. She then tells them what to do when they ask her and they return the slip to her. As she takes the receipt and starts to put it back in the slot, I make sure and let her know NOT to push SEND this time. The funniest part is that she would have probably if I hadn’t said anything. So I start imagining this scenario and telling her how they would then be asking her, “Did you need something else, Ma’am?” to which she would have replied, “No” and they would have told her that she didn’t need to send it back when she was done! Then Sara realizes that if we hadn’t been with her, she would have sat there for a while with the money in the “Space Container” and the bankers would have had to tell her to push SEND. As we were laughing and talking about this, you could tell the bankers were smiling and kind of giggling, too….I really think they may have heard us. Oh, the things the bankers end up overhearing….

And now, for the last funny moment of my weekend, that is IF you’re still reading. This story has to do with my soon to be 8 year old nephew. On Friday night, my sister had taken my youngest niece to the barn to feed and work her animals and my nephew was at home with the rest of us. He had been busy playing and as his dad heard my sister’s van pull in to the garage, he told my nephew that his mom was going to ask him why he hadn’t take his bath yet. So my nephew decided to hide. His hiding place? Behind the chair I was sitting in. So he climbed up and over to get behind the chair and told us all not to tell. My sister comes in and a couple minutes later, asks where my nephew is. Everyone tells her they haven’t seen him in awhile and I motioned behind me to my sister and mouth the words, “He’s behind me!” without speaking aloud. She then smiles and decides to play along, hollering for him all over the house and asking where he is. My youngest niece decides to let the dogs in, one tiny toy rat terrier and one 4 month old Bassett Hound/Pit Bull mix. Lulu, the rat terrier, likes to take her bone and hide it under the chair I sit in, probably cause it’s the only one with enough space under it to do so. The other dog, Princess, likes to try to follow her, but her girth often keeps her from going as far as Lulu can. Well…you probably guessed the next part. Lulu runs under there and Princess follows. I can then hear them under my chair fighting over the bone and I can feel it under the seat as well. In my mind, I am seeing my nephew hiding behind the chair and the dogs fighting right in front of him. This makes me crack up and my sister also finds it pretty funny, since we know where my nephew is. I can feel my nephew poking the back of the chair and whispering SSSHHH to make me be quiet. Finally, my nephew must have scared them or something cause they run out and take their fighting elsewhere. My sister is still pretending to look for her son and his dad(my brother-in-law) decides to say, “This would be a good time to go into his room and get rid of a bunch of those toys he doesn’t need.” Well…my nephew didn’t like this very much as I could tell by the poking in my back. Then my sister leaves the room for a moment, my nephew pops up and tells his dad, ‘Shut up” about the giving away of toys and goes back behind the chair. My sister tries to pretend she has a gift for him to get him to peek but it doesn’t work. It had probably been about 10 minutes and he was still hiding…..then Princess got this look on her face and started inching toward my chair. She was clearly looking under the chair at something and started to quietly bark and growl. My sister and all of us thought this was hilarious and started a game with her. We all asked her, ‘What do you see under there? Is it a rat? Go get the rat!” Alas, she only stood her ground and kept growling for a while, then simply got bored. Just when my sister was going to have to admit she KNEW where he was, she got a response from him when she yet again told him to come out from wherever he was. A voice clearly coming from behind MY chair said, “If you give me a present, I’ll come out.” My sister told him no gift and he better come out from behind the chair. To that, the response came, “I am not behind this chair.” Kind of makes me think of the Wizard of Oz that was NOT behind the curtain….

He DID come out, though and we laughed about the whole thing for quite awhile. I love my crazy family….especially during the good times.

I’ll end this post with a quote by Agatha Christie I read last weekend in an older issue of Reader’s Digest. I think it really sums up last weekend and how I feel about my family.

“It is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them”-Agatha Christie

Advertisements


eof737 says:

See… You are a funny gal and you have a family that keeps you laughing… that is a blessing. I loved the stories… Still can’t get that shark on the front grill of the speeding truck off my mind. 🙂



Not ALL members of my family make me laugh, but I do have some that definitely can cheer me up when I am down! And I AM definitely blessed. As for the truck, I could hear the Jaws theme playing in my head as he went by!



knotrune says:

Drive through banks, what a strange idea! We don’t have those in Britain 🙂



You don’t have lanes where you drive up and send money through to be deposited or for a check to be cashed? I thought they had them everywhere. Very interesting…I learn something new everyday!



The Hook says:

I love your sense of humor!



Thanks, I love yours as well! 🙂



Lol sounds like you had quite a few interesting experiences on the road! I’m glad the guy who was speeding around you got noticed by the cops too!



When I’m around my family…there’s always going to be interesting experiences, for sure! I’m glad that trip was full of happy, LOL ones. 🙂



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
Everything Mommyhood

Mom Life, Reviews, Giveaways, Recipes, DIY, and more

Worldwide EndoMarch

Forward we go to end the silence for Endometriosis!

Worth the trouble

“He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their silly old fruit anyway, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.” ~from Good Omens

Problems With Infinity

Confessions of a Delusional Maniac

karenwriteshere

Hope isn't an emotion, but a daily choice. Keep choosing the path of hope.

The Ideal Me by 24

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

Women Who Think Too Much by Jeanne Marie

My book, Women Who Think Too Much, is available at smashwords.com

Becoming Cliche

My Journey to Becoming My Mother

My Trousers Rolled

"I grow old...I grow old...I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled..." -- T.S. Eliot, The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock

randomdescent

"writing is an adventure"

More Cabaret

Class, Sass, and a Lot of Ass

Book Lovers Buffet

Load Up - You Won't Gain a Pound!

re-Education

Ideas about English, Drama and ICT in the classroom, as well as some broader musings

readful things blog

colourful language, colourful opinions

101 Books

Reading my way through Time Magazine's 100 Greatest Novels since 1923 (plus Ulysses)

Insatiable Booksluts

Voracious readers tell you if that book is going to suck.

Body Rebooted

On the road to optimal health!

%d bloggers like this: