TheRealSharon's Blog

{August 4, 2011}   The “Unborn” on Facebook

I have several friends on Facebook who are expecting a baby, some are going to be new mommies and some already have been there, done that. I have learned so much about their pregnancies through this lovely thing we call Social Networking. We have the mommies doing a photo time line of their growing bellies, posting the sonogram pictures, and of course, keeping us all informed of the baby that is growing inside them. This isn’t a bad thing, really. For close friends and family that live far away, it gives them the benefit of sharing in this special moment. I do agree that when it comes down to the actual labor, sometimes the minute by minute descriptions on Facebook can be way too much information, but hey, that will probably be me someday.

Something new has arrived on Facebook recently. Maybe they came up with it to try to gain favor since Google + has entered the game or maybe they just thought it was a clever tactic.

Now, expectant mothers have the ability to add their unborn child as a family member with a Due date instead of a birth date and the picture? The sonogram!

I suppose it’s kind of a cute gesture but what happens if something, Heaven forbid, goes wrong with the pregnancy? Can you picture coming home from a miscarriage or still birth and seeing your “family member” listed and then having to remove them or declare them dead? Then seeing on your wall the words “You removed —— as your expectant child.” How haunting……

I’m not a mother yet so I can’t even imagine the intense pain that comes with losing a child and I know losing one has got to be hard enough on its own already without having to remove them from your Facebook, but I just don’t know. There’s just this underlying creepiness factor.

Apparently, Facebook said the reasoning behind this was because moms were making actual profiles for their unborn children where they had to obviously lie about the age and make them at least 13. This was so they could then add them as a son or daughter on Facebook before they were actually born. So now instead of making a “fake” profile, you can add them as an actual unborn child instead of a 13 yr. old child who is really still inside the womb. When I consider THIS reasoning, their decision suddenly makes more sense.

So…I predict adding pets next to Family profiles. I mean, why not? I know people who have already made profiles for their pets and let’s face it, for some people, their pets ARE their children. So why not? Seems less creepy than adding an unborn child, doesn’t it?

{August 4, 2011}   No Apologies, I’m Just Me

As much as I don’t want to care what others think of me or what they say behind my back, I still do…just a little bit. I KNOW this is considered a fault and I realize that what others think shouldn’t matter because it’s about how you see yourself. Knowing all the right things you should do is not the same as magically pulling out a wand and suddenly being able to master it, though.

I have many older friends who have counseled me in how they lived their 20’s and 30’s always caring about what others thought of them and wasting time with that and they regretted it but once they hit around the 40 mark, they suddenly stopped caring so much. That’s a wonderful thing and I hope with every ounce of me that one day I will have that happen to me,too. But I’m 27, going on 28 and from what I am hearing, I’m in the stage that YOU once were at my age. I am stuck caring too much and worrying too much and having days where I don’t feel good enough. Last time I checked, all my friends my age and a little older were in my boat with me. They understand that and we are all trying to get to that moment of clarity where we could not only KNOW that what others think doesn’t really matter so much but that we can live like that. At the same time, my older and wiser friends want to save me from myself. They would love to bestow the gift of knowledge on me earlier and hope that I can take the step they took later in THEIR life on a fast track. Unfortunately, there’s no guarantees it will work that way.

And I’m fine with it, honestly. I’m not going to pretend to have my life all figured out yet when I have so much of it yet to live. I’m not going to pretend my life is all roses if it’s anything but. As much as I want to always sound chipper and always sound confident, I refuse to be dishonest. I’m young and I still have learning to do. My life is MY life and no two people can live it the same.

I wanted to start this post off by saying “I’m sorry I can’t be….” but then I told myself NO….I have nothing to be sorry for. I owe no one apologies for being ME. I’m not going to apologize for sometimes doing a post where I don’t feel like it’s the best in the world, because I’m being honest. Stephen King wrote “Carrie”, then threw it in the trash. He thought it was nothing but garbage and no one would ever want to read it. His wife found it and talked him into getting it published and we all know what happened next, don’t we?

Some times I do a post quick with little thinking involved and I feel like it’s not any good, but I post it anyways. Why? Because maybe I am missing something good that someone else may see. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Tabitha King found treasure in her husband’s trash. So maybe something I find not “good enough” may actually be better than what I first thought. Even the best writers struggle with feeling like they are not good enough at times. So I’m not going to apologize for admitting if I honestly don’t see the greatness in a post I post. Sometimes it may truly be mediocre or not any good at all….but if there’s 1 chance in a 100 that it could turn out to be good or great, I’m taking it. Life is nothing if not taking risks and I’ve spent too much of mine NOT doing so. I’m ready to dive in and let it all show, the good AND the bad, and let the critics(YOU) be the judge.

I want honest opinions and feed back, I’m not looking for sugarcoated candy here. If something I post IS no good, you don’t have to like it and you can tell me it’s not my best or give me suggestions on how to make it better. I don’t want people telling me “good job” and then really thinking, “Oh my gosh, that was horrible, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

I know it happens sometimes but I honestly want only truth.

And I’m not apologizing for doing posts that expose negative things in my life that I deal with, either. Life is not all rainbows and butterflies and for some, just thinking positively, can’t twist it to suddenly be that way. This isn’t a one size fits all world and I can’t snap my fingers and suddenly be Miss Sunshine.

I’m done apologizing for things I shouldn’t have to….No more Apologies, Just me.

et cetera
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