TheRealSharon's Blog

{July 12, 2011}   Flawless

To be without flaws means that something is perfect……to be considered perfect is based on opinion. If you look perfect up in the dictionary, you will see descriptions such as conforming absolutely to THE description or DEFINITION of an ideal type.  This definition conveys that perfection is truly in the eyes of the beholder. The fact that the first definition of “perfect” includes the word “conform” fits so well with how I feel when I imagine something being perfect.

Conform means to go along with the rules, BECOME what someone else wants you to be, fit in with the prevailing attitudes of society or a group. Therefore, being perfect truly means becoming what others expect or want from you.

To be flawless then becomes, in my mind, to be a robot. Going along in life doing and saying only what others want and expect from you. To be flawless means lying to yourself and others…..NOT being truthful. How can you be honest and still remain flawless when being honest exposes all the flaws and imperfections?

I was clueless on what to post today when I opened a virtual fortune cookie on my Facebook. It’s something fun and silly I like to do and I enjoy seeing what it will say. Today my fortune was “Who is without flaws?” The second I saw this statement, I KNEW what I would post about today. I also immediately knew the answer to that statement. No one is without flaws. It’s an impossibility. While one person may view perfection in something or someone, another will see it as imperfect.

I’ve been guilty growing up wanting to be perfect and flawless and “fit in”…if you’re honest with yourself, we all have at some point in time wanted this. I think it’s important that we ALL realize that it’s a losing battle that none of us can win. We must stop striving for a goal that none of us can achieve.

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”-Anna Quindlen

I was referred to a book by the author of this quote that I so want to read but haven’t been able to get the book yet. I love this quote by her. I want to truly give up on the idea of being flawless and just work on fully being who I am like this quote says.

“A beautiful thing is never perfect”-Proverb Quotes

“Beautiful” means to be very pleasing or satisfying, to delight the senses or mind. I don’t remember learning THIS meaning for the term beautiful. If you watch TV and movies, we are constantly inundated with “beautiful” photos of things we are also told are “perfect”. THIS IS NOT WHAT BEAUTIFUL MEANS. “Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.”

“Have no fear of perfection-you’ll never reach it”-Salvador Dali

But this is an imperfect world, as actors, athletes, priests and presidents soon discover. Writers have known this from the day they read their first review.

Thomas Fleming

Of course, we CAN still try to better ourselves but we can do so FOR ourselves and not in the goal of becoming “perfect” for anyone.


I’m never going to be flawless

For I’m full of flaws

I’m never going to be perfect

That’s simply a myth

But I’ll always be beautiful

In someone’s eyes

For there’s beauty in my flaws

There’s beauty in my scars

There’s beauty in the tears

And beauty in my fears

There’s such beauty in imperfection

Each wrinkle and each pain

Each crack in my mold

Tells a story

Every defect

In its own way.

-Sharon Hughes 2011

nrhatch says:

Thand Anna Quindlen quote is one of my favorites.
She’s also written some terrific books ~ including Black and Blue about Domestic Violence.

Terrific post and thoughts, Sharon. Our perfection lies in our imperfection.

If you’re interested:

How interesting that your post was around the same time as mine, only last year 🙂 I will definitely go check it out!
I have never read anything by her yet but I want to read everything by her now! I wish our library had books by her :(….Looks like next time I get to a Half Price books, I will be searching for books from her. She sounds like such a great writer!
The one my blog buddy (Perfecting Motherhood) referred to me was “How reading changed my life”….I can’t wait to read that one AND the one you mentioned.

Black and Blue is excellent – a real nail biter, hard to put down.

I looked up Anna Quindlen again and found out our library DOES have some books by her….just not the “How reading changed my life”…I think they have “Black and Blue” so I might be checking it out soon 🙂

I love your quote. I know I have flaws but being wrong is not one of them: one of my fav quotes. LOL

Haha, love it! 🙂

rutheh says:

Good thoughts to mull over and think about!

I thought so! 🙂

Be yourself, no matter what they say – Sting (An Englishman in New York). Every word in that song is so, so true.
And yes, perfection is way overrated, and so boring.

Never heard that song by Sting…I need to look it up sometime.

That’s because you’re a lot younger than me and I’m dating myself but liking the song, which came out in 1985…

I know who Sting is…just not familiar with that one song. 🙂

Too bad your library doesn’t have the Anna Quindlen book, it’s really good. Can you order out of your library circuit? My San Diego county library lets me order from the San Diego city library, as well as hundreds of libraries in CA (other towns, counties and universities). It’s really a great system, especially since the county library has its limits. Maybe you can inquire and see if it’s possible in your town/state.

I don’t think we can….I know we can’t even check out books from libraries in the other towns close to us unless we show proof of living there….:(
They DID have the Black and Blue book but when I checked this morning, it was checked out…so someone beat me to it. Guess I will have to wait on that one, too!

The Hook says:

Sharon, that was fantastic!

eof737 says:

There must be a run on the “perfection” topic as I have read several blog posts on the subject… interesting. What prompted it seems to vary but the topic is the same… Perfection is exhausting but we can aim for it anyway and turn our perfectionism into seeking excellence. 🙂

Yes, I have noticed that myself….but I swear my idea came from the fortune cookie…..before that I hadn’t looked at any blog posts for the day or anything……after I did my blog I started noticing others that were following the beauty and the perfection theme, each in their own ways. Isn’t it funny how things can work like that? 🙂

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