I got a really good response the last time I did a last minute poem, so I decided to give it another go…not promising anything great, but maybe it will be at least decent.
Speechless
I can’t seem to get the words out
Of my fingers and onto the page
They’re stuck inside, confined
To a dungeon I didn’t create.
It’s musty and dirty,
my thoughts become water logged
drowning in an ocean
of sweat and tears.
I reach down deep into the puddles
saving what I can
here, there and everywhere,
but the final stanza seems beyond my grasp.
On one side’s my past
All soggy and fading
On the other side’s my future
Dry but yet unreadable
As I grab the pieces of my present
To try to make it come out right,
I see the future pages
filling in, but just out of my sight.
The pages I pick up slip one,
then two, three and four out of my hand
Into the past pages
Sinking lower and lower.
It’s then I realize it’s pointless to bother
It’s either fading or hasn’t been written
The in between slides quickly
Into the former.
Where do I find my words then
While they’re slipping away?
I guess I must write them as they happen
before they’re taken away.
I know that was kind of rough…but I hope you liked it a little. Let me know what you think! (The words were flowing as easy as I feel they should, so I ended this 15 minutes in…maybe I will feel more inspired at a later date)
I think it needs some polishing but it’s got some really nice parts already (I like the end) and it’s a great theme that everyone can relates to. Let it sit for a few days and go back to it for polishing. I think you’ll end up with something really nice.
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Thanks!
I’m going to come back to it later this week and try to polish it some more!
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That’s really cool, I like the imagery and theme. 🙂 Nice work! It’s often the tweaking to tighten it up that takes longer though, but it will be worth it.
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Yea…last time I did the last minute poem, the words came flowing from nowhere and I didn’t expect them to. This time, I kept changing my mind and editing like crazy, I just couldn’t figure out what to say but then when it came to the last bit of the poem, I knew how I wanted it to end. Even though I only spent 15 minutes, it was a HARD 15 minutes and I have learned from the past that if I spend ANY amount of time and the words are NOT flowing smoothly, that it’s better for me to just stop and work on it another time. If I spend too much time on a poem when it’s not coming easily, it usually ends up no good……my best poems come out quickly and not forcefully.
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Nice poem, I like how you make them personal so we can know more about what’s on your mind! And doing that in 15 minutes is pretty good, I bet you could whip up a poetry book in no time with speed like that! Keep writing poems, you’ve got a knack for them!
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Awww, thanks! You’re so sweet for that comment!
I think THIS poem needs some work yet but I love how sweet you are about it! I don’t know how to do the blushing emoticon or I would!
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I like it… You are sharing your struggles about the future and I love the imagery you use… Keep it up! 🙂
Blushing emoticon = 😳
E
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Thanks!
OK…I still don’t know how to do the blushing emoticon 😦
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