Woke up this morning with an extreme case of vertigo and when I say extreme, I mean literally. I gripped the walls tightly as if they were a life line on the way to the bathroom. I felt like I was walking in a funhouse except without the “fun” part involved. Even just sitting and looking around the room, everything was spinning fast like a merry go round. I’m quite surprised this didn’t make me feel really nauseous, in fact. More than anything, it was just scary. My husband had already left to go do car repossessions with a friend for some money so I was all alone. I called him up immediately after making my way back from the bathroom to the bed and told him of my vertigo and he was nice enough to bring me a drink and some food at lunch time so I didn’t have to try to make me something and risk a fall. At 27, I shouldn’t be so fearful of falling but the reality of the matter is, when I fall, I risk the chance of breaking bones or being seriously hurt because of my weight. It’s a scary reality to face but it’s mine and I deal with it as best I can.

Because our computer is in a room across the apartment from the bedroom, I didn’t venture into the room until late, which is why I am now doing my daily blog so late. I would actually have missed a day for the first time if I had to but I finally got the vertigo calmed down enough where I could walk without feeling like I’m surfing on the ocean instead.

So here I am, late at night, doing my blog and something weighs heavily in the back of my mind. It wasn’t that long ago that I mentioned on my blog that I try to be more optimistic so that I don’t seem like a “negative nelly” or whatever that term is. Ever since then, I’ve struggled with that comment I made and wondered why….Why can’t I blog how I truly feel? Why MUST I pretend to be optimistic if I really feel nowhere near that on a particular day? Isn’t my blog called “TheREALSharon” and I made it originally to have a place to be 100% REAL. So why am I trying to put on a smile for people that may come along my blog if behind this smile they see, I’m secretly crying and hiding behind a mask. I never set out to change myself in anyway for people that read my blog so why am I allowing people to make me change myself? Not that anyone is actively forcing me to but almost like I want to BE the person that others want to read about instead of the person I really am.

Every single post I have done IS me, none of them have been fake. BUT some of my posts have omitted my feelings at the time so as not to make people feel like I am always pessimistic OR have a “woe is me” mentality.

What does it matter, though? Originally, the only people reading my blog were people in my real life that KNEW me so I didn’t have to pretend that I was UP if I was really DOWN that day. So WHY am I changing anything now that there are new people reading my blog?

Obviously, that little girl years ago that tried so hard to fit in but yet never seemed to be cool enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, good enough….obviously she still lurks underneath and still wants to BE what everyone else wants. Well…..that’s not fair to pretend I’m something I’m not. Not fair to others and most of all, not fair to me. We all deserve to be ourselves, whoever WE are without trying to fit a one size fits all mold.

This post is to say to ALL my readers that I intend to let out the good and the BAD and if you don’t like my good AND my bad reality, then that’s OK. Maybe I won’t be as popular of a blogger as the people that are optimistic all the time but that’s fine. At the end of the day, I just want to be true to me. All of me, the positive AND the negative. Because that’s REAL.

That’s the REAL Sharon.


  1. Sharon — We love the REAL you, warts and all. So just be yourself. There’s something to be said for being positive, though, despite whether you really feel that way. As the saying goes, “Fake it until you make it.” Pretty soon it just becomes a habit to look on the bright side. … As for the vertigo, have you tried the non-drowsy version of Dramamine-type meds? You should just keep some on hand. It works for my mother, who has had terrible vertigo all her life.
    Take care!


    1. Thanks Kristine! I have taken Dramamine in the past for vertigo but I currently don’t have any around. I usually don’t have it THAT often so it’s not something I am always prepared for.


  2. AMEN, let out good and bad, I am thinking of doing the same thing. I can really re late to you today. I pray your walls stop spinning. So, you did make me laugh, it was not so funny but I have the same problem, so sharing it is good. Be real Sharon. It’s worth the risk.


  3. You’ll always be number one in my books, babe! I fully understand you point of view. After all,. one of my blogs is called The Book of TERRIBLE!


  4. Maybe to start thinking positively, you have to recognize when you’re thinking negatively and actively change it. People are creatures of habit, and you recognized your negative habit. By talking positively, you’re changing that habit right there, and of COURSE is doesn’t feel natural, because you’re not used to it. I think in the beginning it’ll feel fake, then one day, it’ll start feeling normal.


    1. That’s a very good point you make and I definitely don’t want to be negative ALL the time. I do need to come to terms with the fact that I HAVE been feeling negative though and I think maybe what I should do is be honest with the negativity I feel but then also make an effort to recognize ALL the positives in my life alongside the negative.
      That way, I’ll keep being REAL to myself but also be actively working to change things for the better.


  5. Ah, vertigo… I just had an episode last week! I hate it, I never know when I’m going to wake up with it, and there’s no cure. I notice it happens more when I sleep on one side rather than the other and after I’ve been to the dentist, because of the way and time my head has been tilted back.

    Have you tried the vertigo exercises you can do to relieve it? It does take time to do them but they do work. Your doctor may be able to send you to someone to go through those faster so you don’t get vertigo as often. Way better than drugs if you tell me!

    What I’ve found about bad stuff happening to you (bringing negative thoughts) is that they are followed by good things, but sometimes you have to look a little harder to find them. It could be as little as someone smiling at you, or a beautiful sunset, or a funny joke. Just look around and start noticing what’s good in life. It’s just a question of training.


      1. You go, girl! All I’m saying is to notice what’s good around you sometimes, even if it’s small. Sometimes it’s tought to do but you’ll notice some days, there’s some pretty cool stuff going on around all of us.


  6. I love this post, definitely one of my favorites from you! I’ve been thinking about the same thing as you, about sharing some more of the negatives than just always trying to be optimistic and positive. I think sharing some of the negatives does make your posts feel more personal and real, though it is harder to share the negatives because you might have people thinking there is something wrong or that you must be happy and positive all the time, but it also helps others relate to you more I would think. Looking forward to reading more about the “real” Sharon! 🙂


  7. What makes you think that people won’t read your blog if you tell the truth or share a sad moment? Please don’t walk down that worry path because your blog is about whatever you wish to write; readers can accept or reject it. We can’t please everyone all the time.
    Popularity in blogging has less to do with whether you write with a smile on your face or tears in your eyes; it’s more about appealing to a niche that wants to read and learn from your pov.
    Stop worrying about what others will say or think, and focus on sharing what moves you. When I started blogging, I was all over the map and it took a while for me to find what I enjoy writing about.
    Sharon, the day I no longer enjoy it is the day I stop writing it… Also remember that optimistic people have bad days too; I can assure you that everybody has stuff they struggle with and we just choose what we wish to share… it’s a choice.
    There’s no law in the blogosphere that says we have to share only positive or only negative things… we share what we wish and people choose to respond or not.
    Blogging is cathartic for me and when I write, it uplifts me as it does some others; that is my path and it is not for everyone. Keep writing and your path will also evolve and grow. Don’t give in or give up; focus on your writings.
    Okay my dear, I’m rambling but you get my drift as I enjoy your writings and want you to feel better… Do see a doctor about the vertigo. 🙂


    1. Like I said, I think it’s more just this part of me that wants to be super optimistic all the time so I don’t come off so negative but I think it’s more important that I just be truthful to myself about what I’m feeling.
      I DO want to try to look for positives because that’s a healthy thing, I think…but if I hide all the bad inside and don’t share any of it, than how can anyone help me if the need arises?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s