TheRealSharon's Blog











{May 10, 2011}   The only good thing about Vertigo is the “go”

Woke up this morning with an extreme case of vertigo and when I say extreme, I mean literally. I gripped the walls tightly as if they were a life line on the way to the bathroom. I felt like I was walking in a funhouse except without the “fun” part involved. Even just sitting and looking around the room, everything was spinning fast like a merry go round. I’m quite surprised this didn’t make me feel really nauseous, in fact. More than anything, it was just scary. My husband had already left to go do car repossessions with a friend for some money so I was all alone. I called him up immediately after making my way back from the bathroom to the bed and told him of my vertigo and he was nice enough to bring me a drink and some food at lunch time so I didn’t have to try to make me something and risk a fall. At 27, I shouldn’t be so fearful of falling but the reality of the matter is, when I fall, I risk the chance of breaking bones or being seriously hurt because of my weight. It’s a scary reality to face but it’s mine and I deal with it as best I can.

Because our computer is in a room across the apartment from the bedroom, I didn’t venture into the room until late, which is why I am now doing my daily blog so late. I would actually have missed a day for the first time if I had to but I finally got the vertigo calmed down enough where I could walk without feeling like I’m surfing on the ocean instead.

So here I am, late at night, doing my blog and something weighs heavily in the back of my mind. It wasn’t that long ago that I mentioned on my blog that I try to be more optimistic so that I don’t seem like a “negative nelly” or whatever that term is. Ever since then, I’ve struggled with that comment I made and wondered why….Why can’t I blog how I truly feel? Why MUST I pretend to be optimistic if I really feel nowhere near that on a particular day? Isn’t my blog called “TheREALSharon” and I made it originally to have a place to be 100% REAL. So why am I trying to put on a smile for people that may come along my blog if behind this smile they see, I’m secretly crying and hiding behind a mask. I never set out to change myself in anyway for people that read my blog so why am I allowing people to make me change myself? Not that anyone is actively forcing me to but almost like I want to BE the person that others want to read about instead of the person I really am.

Every single post I have done IS me, none of them have been fake. BUT some of my posts have omitted my feelings at the time so as not to make people feel like I am always pessimistic OR have a “woe is me” mentality.

What does it matter, though? Originally, the only people reading my blog were people in my real life that KNEW me so I didn’t have to pretend that I was UP if I was really DOWN that day. So WHY am I changing anything now that there are new people reading my blog?

Obviously, that little girl years ago that tried so hard to fit in but yet never seemed to be cool enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, good enough….obviously she still lurks underneath and still wants to BE what everyone else wants. Well…..that’s not fair to pretend I’m something I’m not. Not fair to others and most of all, not fair to me. We all deserve to be ourselves, whoever WE are without trying to fit a one size fits all mold.

This post is to say to ALL my readers that I intend to let out the good and the BAD and if you don’t like my good AND my bad reality, then that’s OK. Maybe I won’t be as popular of a blogger as the people that are optimistic all the time but that’s fine. At the end of the day, I just want to be true to me. All of me, the positive AND the negative. Because that’s REAL.

That’s the REAL Sharon.

Advertisements


Kristine Hughes says:

Sharon — We love the REAL you, warts and all. So just be yourself. There’s something to be said for being positive, though, despite whether you really feel that way. As the saying goes, “Fake it until you make it.” Pretty soon it just becomes a habit to look on the bright side. … As for the vertigo, have you tried the non-drowsy version of Dramamine-type meds? You should just keep some on hand. It works for my mother, who has had terrible vertigo all her life.
Take care!



Thanks Kristine! I have taken Dramamine in the past for vertigo but I currently don’t have any around. I usually don’t have it THAT often so it’s not something I am always prepared for.



Jackie Paulson Author says:

AMEN, let out good and bad, I am thinking of doing the same thing. I can really re late to you today. I pray your walls stop spinning. So, you did make me laugh, it was not so funny but I have the same problem, so sharing it is good. Be real Sharon. It’s worth the risk.



True, my best friends in life seem to love me for both my positives and negatives so why can’t it be the same for blogging friends?



The Hook says:

You’ll always be number one in my books, babe! I fully understand you point of view. After all,. one of my blogs is called The Book of TERRIBLE!



Aww, thanks! I like your book of Terrible….it makes me smile! 🙂



Maybe to start thinking positively, you have to recognize when you’re thinking negatively and actively change it. People are creatures of habit, and you recognized your negative habit. By talking positively, you’re changing that habit right there, and of COURSE is doesn’t feel natural, because you’re not used to it. I think in the beginning it’ll feel fake, then one day, it’ll start feeling normal.



That’s a very good point you make and I definitely don’t want to be negative ALL the time. I do need to come to terms with the fact that I HAVE been feeling negative though and I think maybe what I should do is be honest with the negativity I feel but then also make an effort to recognize ALL the positives in my life alongside the negative.
That way, I’ll keep being REAL to myself but also be actively working to change things for the better.



Ah, vertigo… I just had an episode last week! I hate it, I never know when I’m going to wake up with it, and there’s no cure. I notice it happens more when I sleep on one side rather than the other and after I’ve been to the dentist, because of the way and time my head has been tilted back.

Have you tried the vertigo exercises you can do to relieve it? It does take time to do them but they do work. Your doctor may be able to send you to someone to go through those faster so you don’t get vertigo as often. Way better than drugs if you tell me!

What I’ve found about bad stuff happening to you (bringing negative thoughts) is that they are followed by good things, but sometimes you have to look a little harder to find them. It could be as little as someone smiling at you, or a beautiful sunset, or a funny joke. Just look around and start noticing what’s good in life. It’s just a question of training.



I’m going to attempt to “train” myself to become a more positive person so the positivity will be the REAL me. 🙂



You go, girl! All I’m saying is to notice what’s good around you sometimes, even if it’s small. Sometimes it’s tought to do but you’ll notice some days, there’s some pretty cool stuff going on around all of us.



I love this post, definitely one of my favorites from you! I’ve been thinking about the same thing as you, about sharing some more of the negatives than just always trying to be optimistic and positive. I think sharing some of the negatives does make your posts feel more personal and real, though it is harder to share the negatives because you might have people thinking there is something wrong or that you must be happy and positive all the time, but it also helps others relate to you more I would think. Looking forward to reading more about the “real” Sharon! 🙂



Thanks, I’ll continue being myself then!



eof737 says:

What makes you think that people won’t read your blog if you tell the truth or share a sad moment? Please don’t walk down that worry path because your blog is about whatever you wish to write; readers can accept or reject it. We can’t please everyone all the time.
Popularity in blogging has less to do with whether you write with a smile on your face or tears in your eyes; it’s more about appealing to a niche that wants to read and learn from your pov.
Stop worrying about what others will say or think, and focus on sharing what moves you. When I started blogging, I was all over the map and it took a while for me to find what I enjoy writing about.
Sharon, the day I no longer enjoy it is the day I stop writing it… Also remember that optimistic people have bad days too; I can assure you that everybody has stuff they struggle with and we just choose what we wish to share… it’s a choice.
There’s no law in the blogosphere that says we have to share only positive or only negative things… we share what we wish and people choose to respond or not.
Blogging is cathartic for me and when I write, it uplifts me as it does some others; that is my path and it is not for everyone. Keep writing and your path will also evolve and grow. Don’t give in or give up; focus on your writings.
Okay my dear, I’m rambling but you get my drift as I enjoy your writings and want you to feel better… Do see a doctor about the vertigo. 🙂
Cheers,
E



Like I said, I think it’s more just this part of me that wants to be super optimistic all the time so I don’t come off so negative but I think it’s more important that I just be truthful to myself about what I’m feeling.
I DO want to try to look for positives because that’s a healthy thing, I think…but if I hide all the bad inside and don’t share any of it, than how can anyone help me if the need arises?



[…] few days ago I did a post about being honest with my feelings whether they are good or bad. It never ceases to amaze me how other things in life seem to align […]



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

et cetera
Everything Mommyhood

Mom Life, Reviews, Giveaways, Recipes, DIY, and more

Worldwide EndoMarch

Forward we go to end the silence for Endometriosis!

Worth the trouble

“He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their silly old fruit anyway, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.” ~from Good Omens

Problems With Infinity

Confessions of a Delusional Maniac

karenwriteshere

Hope isn't an emotion, but a daily choice. Keep choosing the path of hope.

Thought Catalog

Thought Catalog is a digital youth culture magazine dedicated to your stories and ideas.

The Ideal Me by 24

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

Women Who Think Too Much by Jeanne Marie

My book, Women Who Think Too Much, is available at smashwords.com

Becoming Cliche

My Journey to Becoming My Mother

My Trousers Rolled

"I grow old...I grow old...I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled..." -- T.S. Eliot, The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock

randomdescent

"writing is an adventure"

More Cabaret

Class, Sass, and a Lot of Ass

Book Lovers Buffet

Load Up - You Won't Gain a Pound!

re-Education

Ideas about English, Drama and ICT in the classroom, as well as some broader musings

readful things blog

colourful language, colourful opinions

101 Books

Reading my way through Time Magazine's 100 Greatest Novels since 1923 (plus Ulysses)

Insatiable Booksluts

Voracious readers tell you if that book is going to suck.

Body Rebooted

On the road to optimal health!

%d bloggers like this: