This is a post I’ve thought about doing for awhile now but kind of been putting it off. Due to the lack of anything else to blog about today and the fact that it IS a Sunday, I decided to finally do this blog. I know it may be kind of controversial but hopefully, people will understand what I mean….hopefully.
First of all, I was raised in church from the time I was a baby. It was embedded in me that you went to church Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon and Wednesday night. It was a “You go every time the doors are open” kind of mentality. My parents are Southern Baptists but my dad was raised Methodist as a kid; in fact, his mom was a Methodist pastor. My mom was also raised in going to church, I believe she went to a Methodist church with her grandparents and Baptist with her parents. Not quite sure on that, but the point is, I was brought up in a Christian household.
There were times growing up as a child, that I was bored with it, honestly. Probably not the best thing to admit, but hey, I was a kid and you had to sit still for a LONG time. Church was so much of a routine though that I didn’t question it, I knew I HAD to go, so I went. I asked Jesus into my heart around 7 or 8. I remember it was after a car accident and I just had this feeling like I could have died and I wasn’t saved so I had a strong urge to do so. I don’t think I ever really told anyone right then that I had done so. I told my mom years later before I was baptized that I was saved.
Anyways, I continued going to church on a regular basis until a few years into college. Once I got active in a singing/dancing group and doing plays, etc., I became lazy at the thought of going to church and made up every excuse not to go. Since I was an adult, my mom would eventually relent and let me stay home but she was never too happy about it. The more and more I missed church, the harder it was to try to make myself go. And then it got to the point where it wasn’t just laziness keeping me from it.
I wasn’t the only one that entered college as a church goer and then suddenly, stopped going as much. There’s just something about a public college that has an effect on you, I suppose. For me, I started to look at church goers as hypocrites. I apologize for any friends and family that are reading this. It was just that I had started to grow up and I saw things I never noticed before. I saw people that called themselves Christians say and do some horrible things and it confused me. I remember this one particular girl that was a Christian and she liked to speak of it every other word she said. Later, I saw her in a halter top, belly showing, tight jeans, talking about going to the club and drinking. Needless to say, I had no respect for her from that moment on.
Not to say that all Christians are perfect angels. I still consider myself a Christian and I love God but I feel that if you are going to go around proclaiming your Christianity everywhere, you need to be prepared to back up what you say. If someone asked me if I was a Christian in college, I would say yes but I never just came into a room stating that fact. I felt like I was far from what I needed to be as a Christian and I had a lot of failings. To proclaim myself widely as a Christian and then backslide so much would have been a huge misrepresentation of the faith.
It’s hard enough as it is. I hear people frequently call Baptists in general, Hypocrites. It’s no wonder either, a lot of Christians ARE hypocrites. The stories I have heard about good little Christians and what they have done bad could fill a book.
On the other hand, we are all sinners. Being a Christian doesn’t take that fact away.
I only go to church on special occasions now, though. I have told myself I would start going back but I haven’t. I guess I have lost my faith in the idea of “church”. One huge thing that killed it has to do with a pastor I knew. Not going to say names and he wasn’t MY pastor but more of a guest one. I found out from my parents that they had witnessed him cuss and push his wife. After doing so, he had preached a sermon…a sermon calling out sin and sinners.
I find it hard to listen to someone preach that I KNEW did stuff like that….Does anyone fault me for that? In this day and age, a lot of secrets come out more than in the past. I find it hard to look at anyone that calls themselves a good Christian and not wonder what goes on behind closed doors. They seem so sweet but what are they really like at home?
So yea…The real reason I don’t go to church much anymore is because I feel like there are so many hypocrites. I also feel like a huge hypocrite myself. I’m not perfect, far from it.
I also don’t agree with how a lot of Christians treat others. Isn’t a Christian supposed to be Godlike?
I worked Census 2010 and I heard a friend of mine tell me about this person who was working it also and said they refused to work a certain area because of the people who lived there. This man was a proclaimed Christian who went on and on about that fact but yet, he thought he was too good for an area that was full of run down homes. This friend of mine is a Christian too but she doesn’t go around saying it all the time. She doesn’t go to church all the time but she had no problem going wherever. She will talk to anyone and she is the most kind, loving person ever and very non-judgmental.
I have met the most wonderful, loving Christian people that don’t go to church. Not saying they are perfect, we are humans and no one is perfect. I’m saying I have seen some better Christians come out of an environment where church isn’t a routine. And I have also seen people that call themselves Christians, go to church every time the door is open and are the most rude, judgmental, hateful people you could ever meet. So I am still a Christian, I believe in God, but I don’t think you HAVE to go to church to be a Christian.
P.s. To all my friends and family that DO go to church, please know that I’m not putting YOU down and I don’t think you are a hateful, rude person. I love all my friends and family members…if I actually thought this of YOU, I would not have you as a friend. Please don’t be hurt…I love you all!