If you could go back in time and have a 5 minute conversation with yourself ten years ago, what would you say?
This was the topic idea for today on Daily Post. Ten years ago today, I was 17 and actually tomorrow, the 14th was the day I graduated high school. Graduating on Valentine’s Day was the best thing I could have ever asked for. I didn’t do the official walk in my cap and gown until May but the school I went to rang bells to show that I was officially done with the school work. It was awesome. I will never forget that I graduated on Valentine’s Day.
At this time in my life, I was also in love. The guy I loved lived on the other side of the world, over in Birmingham, England. We had never met in person, only talked over the computer. I thought he was the one, though. It was February 2001 and in 5 months, I would be leaving for a 2 week missions trip to Wales, UK. I was so excited to get to go out of the country for the first time in my life. In 2000, when it was announced at my church that there were missions trips we could go on and one of them was to Wales, I felt like it was fate. I had always wanted to to go there but the real reason behind wanting to go was to see the one I loved. I didn’t tell the pastor that and when I signed up for the trip, I left that part out. It was a MISSIONS trip, after all.
I had it all figured out. I knew the dates I was going to be in Wales and he had planned to meet me while I was there, somehow. I signed up and started saving the money for the trip. All my graduation money went to going on that trip. The back out date was a couple months before the date of the trip and a month before the trip, I got dumped. I thought my world had ended. I was now stuck going on the trip anyways or forfeiting $1600. I went on the trip and he was in the back of my mind. I twisted my ankle while I was there, emptied out almost a whole bottle of Ibuprofen cause I felt like crap half the time(which I later learned I had gotten strep throat) BUT it was the best experience of my life. I learned so much about myself and I learned to appreciate living in the United States. I got to see places that others only dream of and I got to see a lot of lives that were blessed by God. I still believe that trip was fate but in a different way than I did then. Everything happens for a reason. I would have NEVER had the guts to sign up for that trip if I had never met that guy. I know now he wasn’t right for me and it would have never worked out. I believe he was placed in my life because I was meant to go on that missions trip. I believe God knew I needed some motivation and maybe it was tough for me at the time to deal with that heartbreak, but I am so thankful today for all the pain that I went through then. I would not be who I am today if I had not been through it all. Maybe sometime I will blog about more details of that trip but for now, I will just say, it changed my life and my view on things.
So what would I tell myself if I could have 5 minutes with my 17 yr. old self? THESE would be my exact words: “You are going to go through some super tough times soon and you’re going to wish it would all end. You WILL make it through though and you will be so appreciative one day that you pushed through it all. Do not put so much emphasis on feeling love from guys in your life. There is going to be a lot of guys who you like that are going to hurt you. They are going to break your heart bad and there will be more tears than you thought you could cry. Keep your head up. All those tears are going to mold you into who you are meant to be. Cherish the happy times with friends and family because when you get older and they end up married with kids, you will long for those times. Don’t be afraid to show people the real you and don’t hide inside yourself. You are a great girl and you shouldn’t wait to show others that. Love yourself the way you are and others will realize just how special you are. Oh and fight through the pain you may feel on your missions trip and really take the time to take in the experience 100% or you will regret it”
That’s what I would tell myself……