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{February 28, 2011}   What’s YOUR hidden talent?

I’m forced to do my blog earlier than I have done it in the past few days due to my husband needing the computer tonight for a couple hours. Not that this is a completely bad thing. I’m sure I know of at least one constant reader of my blog who will be happy to see that I have a post that is more than 30 minutes to an hour before the next day!

The Daily Post asked “What’s your hidden talent?” today. Well, most of the people close to me already know what I like to say is my hidden talent. I can mimic a baby’s cry. Seriously…… I can make it sound like a real baby is crying in the room with you even though there’s not one. I like to think it’s a cool hidden talent. Maybe it’s not one that can be widely used but still neat in its own regard. I actually did get some use from it though. Back in college, I got to do sound design for a play called “Yellow Boat” and even though a lot of my hard work didn’t get shown(mainly because I didn’t realize I needed to ask for help on my assignment until it was too late); my baby cry talent was showcased in the play. Nowhere in the pamphlet of the play was it stated that this was so but nevertheless, it is so and when I went to see the play, it made me smile. Is that a baby crying? Nope…it’s a grown adult who can mimic a baby’s cry. Yep….I am proud of my hidden talent. Don’t hate on me, please.

So I told you mine…..What’s yours?

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{February 27, 2011}   Slowly but surely, I am on my way

This is the first day in over a week that I remember feeling even slightly human. Surprising since last night, I coughed so much, I probably could have called up The Guinness Book of World Records and possibly broke the record for most coughs in a row. It was just a cough, though. I don’t think I had a fever with it, there wasn’t much pain, it was just tiring and annoying. Normally, when I got like that, I could lay down, fall asleep and be fine. Last night was the exception. I just could NOT stop coughing and I was trying everything. I finally found some Mucinex in the closet and decided to try one of them. They haven’t ever worked for me in the past and tend to make me cough more but I thought, what the heck. About 10 minutes later, my coughing had slowed down considerably and I was falling asleep. Thanks to my sweet mother coming over to the apartment in the middle of the night with some cough syrup, I actually got plenty of sleep. She is so awesome. I love my mom!

So today has been a lot better. Much less coughing but I’m in zombie mode at the same time. My body is still in la-la land even though I can walk and talk. I gave permission to my husband to call the doctor in the morning if I am still coughing but if I can have another day like today or even better, I may be fine without that. YAY!

Kudos to my beloved friends and family who have been reading my post this past week. I know it hasn’t been as interesting lately, but knowing you actually care, gives me the motivation to make time no matter what for a short post every day. Haven’t missed a day yet!

Fingers crossed that I am on my way to getting better!



{February 26, 2011}   A laugh to end a sick day

Yep…you guessed it. I am still sick.

Thought I would post some jokes to cheer myself and others up. Here you go!

MORNING SICKNESS

The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.

“What’s wrong Marge ?” she asked.

Marge told her that she had “morning sickness.”

Surprised, the neighbor said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant!”

“I’m not.” the harried young woman replied. “I’m just  sick of mornings.”

COMPARING CHILDHOOD SURGERIES

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze!”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumcision.”

The second kid says, “Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”

BLONDE DETECTIVE TRAINING

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The first blonde answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”

The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture shows his profile.”

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”

The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it’s a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?” He quickly adds” . . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses.”

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. “Well, that’s an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. “Wow! I can’t believe it…it’s TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”

“That’s easy,” the blonde replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.

(I might try a few of these techniques in this next one!)

HOW TO DEAL WITH TELEMARKETERS

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, “How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?”

2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Or you can say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one seems
to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . .” When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

3. If the person says he’s Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: “Hi, my name is Judy and I’m with Canter and Siegel services….
You: “Hang on a second.” (few seconds pause) “Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are
you wearing?”

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, “Judy!! Is this really you? I can’t believe it! Judy, how have you
BEEN?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

6. Say, “No,” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they’re trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, “I don’t have any friends . . . would you be my friend?”

8. If they clean rugs: “Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood – chicken blood too?”

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional “Uh-huh, really, or, “That’s fascinating.” Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn’t give your credit card number to someone who’s a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for.
Example: Telemarketer: “This is Bill from Watertronics.”
You: “Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?”
Telemarketer: “Uh, Dallas, Texas.” You: “Great, they have a group there too? How’s business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya.”

11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, “Well, I don’t really want to get a call at home,” say, “Yeah! Now you know how I feel.” (smiling, of course…)

And now for the last one: One I have heard a few times but still funny AND true!

COMPUTER BUSINESS

Actual dialog of a former Wordperfect Customer Support employee:
“Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?”
“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”
“What sort of trouble?”
“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”
“Went away?”
“They disappeared.”
“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”
“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”
“How do I tell?”
“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”
“What’s a sea-prompt?”
“Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”
“There isn’t any cursor: I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”
“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”
“What’s a monitor?”
“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
“Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”
“Yes, it is.”
“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”
“No.”
“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
“Okay, here it is.”
“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”
“I can’t reach.”
“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”
“No.”
“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”
“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle-it’s because it’s dark.”
“Dark?”
“Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”
“Well, turn on the office light then.”
“I can’t.”
“No? Why not?”
“Because there’s a power outage.”
“A power… A power outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”
“Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”
“Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”
“Really? Is it that bad?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”
“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”
“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”

HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!



I am SO sick and tired of being sick and tired! The only way I don’t just stay coughing my lungs up continuously is if I down Nyquil, pop a cough drop, put Vicks Vapor rub all over my chest and the bottoms of my feet, perform a few acupressure tricks I found online and sleep…..and if I wake up, try to go back to sleep. As long as I stay sleeping, I am usually fine and don’t cough as much. The second I decide to sit up for awhile or move around, it’s back to the non-stop coughing. And then if my husband decides he wants to talk to me, it gets worse. Why, you ask? Because if I start talking too much, I eventually cough so much that I can’t stop. So I try to tell him I will talk later because I need to rest my voice. Of course, he seems to think this is hilarious that I need to rest my voice. But it’s the truth! It helps if I remain quiet and don’t talk. And sleep is good as well. I DO get tired of just sleeping though, but I guess it becomes the lesser enemy eventually. Either cough my lungs up and the replacement pair that I do not have, as well….or sleep through it all and hope eventually I will wake up to the end of the horrible cough.

I hate coughing…..I swear, it’s an annoying little devil at the back of my throat playing tickle back there and I am considering murder for the first time in my life…..If only I could reach the devil that’s doing it…..I would so kill it right now!

I miss doing my blog so much and I can not wait to finally feel better so I can get back to it…right now, I just want to make the coughing stop…..: (



{February 24, 2011}   Kid’s Advice to kids

This was taken out of a blog I did on Myspace in January of 2006 and I believe the original place I got this was from an e-mail….I’m sick so I’m just copy/pasting my post tonight.

“Never trust a dog to watch your food.”
Patrick, age 10


“When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer.”
Hannah, age 9


“Never tell your mom her diet’s not working.”
Michael, age 14

“Stay away from prunes.”
Randy, age 9


“Don’t pull Dad’s finger when he tells you to.”
Emily, age 10


“When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.”
Taylia, age 11


“Never let your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.”
Traci, age 14


“A puppy always has bad breath — even after eating a Tic-Tac.”
Andrew, age 9

“Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same time.”
Kyoyo, age 9


“You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.”
Armir, age 9


“Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.”
Kellie, age 11


“If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.”
Naomi, age 15


“Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.”
Lauren, age 9


“Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat.”
Joel, age 10


“When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone.”
Alyesha, age 13


“Never try to baptize a cat.”
Eileen, age 8



{February 23, 2011}   Weekly Photo Challenge:Refuge

What is a refuge? The dictionary claims a refuge is a shelter or a place of protection, such as from the weather or danger. It also says it can be any place, person, action, or thing that offers or appears to offer protection, help, or relief.

This is a hard theme for me to do a photo for. I think most people jump to the idea of a house being a refuge, but if it’s a true shelter from the storm, it could be pretty much any place that has 4 walls, right? And when you add the element of danger, it makes it harder because a house is not necessarily a sanctuary from danger. In fact, for a lot of people, anywhere but their house is a refuge for them. So then I have to figure out what is my idea of refuge.

Any place with 4 walls is not a true refuge to me. It may protect me from a storm, but there’s no permanence in a dwelling place to me. To be a true refuge, I believe you need to have a feeling that you’re always safe there and you’re always going to have that place to go back to. As a kid, I felt like I WOULD always have a house somewhere to live. As an adult, you realize that that is something you take for granted. There’s no real guarantee in that. Storms have destroyed people’s house before and left them homeless. Even rich people have lost everything and had to start over from scratch. So then I thought about considering a person or people as a refuge. I think a person can be there for you and you CAN feel safe with them but just like a home, a person is not going to always be there. This is also something you tend to take for granted as a child. You also learn that sometimes the people you put the most trust in are the ones that can hurt you the most. So what’s MY refuge? What place or person can I always feel safe from the storm while I’m in their arms or under the protection they offer?

There’s only one answer I can truly give for the only true refuge for me. I believe God is the only refuge. But how can I take a picture of God? I can’t. No one can. But I can put a picture of something who reminds me of God.

The same God who created these deer is the one who is my refuge

This picture was taken a couple of summers ago by me. Even though I can’t yet see his face, here is a wonderful thing that God has created for us all to see. Every time I look at this picture, I am reminded that the same God who created these deer is the same God who created me. No shelter on Earth is permanent but God will always be there for us as our refuge.



{February 22, 2011}   Bad news

Ok…I originally did a long survey for today because I’m sick and didn’t feel like doing a regular post. Well, apparently the survey I copied didn’t save on here the way I wanted it to so….I lost all the answers to the questions! : (

So…I am sorry to let anyone who reads my blog down but I do not feel like redoing it.

Please pray for me that my sickness goes away soon so I can get back to blogging like I want to! Thanks!



{February 21, 2011}   Sorrow hits the best of us

This post started out as something else but took a completely different turn…..

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.  ~From a headstone in Ireland

May Angels comfort and watch over you

I read some sad news today. One of my 2nd or 3rd cousins, I believe, on my dad’s side, lost her newborn baby boy today. : (    I think the last time I saw the girl was probably back when my dad’s mom passed away, so I wasn’t very close to her, but it’s still sad. She’s around my age…maybe a little younger and this is the 3rd son she has had to bury. I feel for her and her immediate family. I really do. It just seems to be more than any one person should have to go through.

I don’t even have kids yet and it seems to be something that would be too hard to bear. I hope this is something I will never have to know the pain of personally. I feel selfish saying that because I am close to a couple of people that DO know this pain. They are some of the most incredible, strongest women I know. One is older than me and the other just a bit younger, but I look up to both of them and admire them dearly for the strength they have shown.

One experienced the pain well before I even knew she existed, the other one it happened to when I was in her life as a best friend. Me and my mom used to watch her baby girl and she loved my mom so much. I think she started to see my mom as a second mom, in fact. I still remember the phone call saying there had been an accident. I remember telling my mom with tears running down my face. I remember being so scared and worried for my best friend. Nothing else mattered at that moment other than her. I know my hair wasn’t brushed. Not sure if my clothes matched; all I cared about was seeing about my friend. My best friend was going to make it but her baby girl was in bad shape. She eventually went to heaven right after her 2nd birthday. She wasn’t even my child and it broke my heart in a million pieces. My heart ached for my friend and it ached for the little girl that I considered an adopted niece. It was so hard going to the funeral. I didn’t want to cry a lot because I didn’t want to upset her worse. I had to try to be strong for her. She was the mother, this was her child, I have no right to be so sad when SHE is going through much, much more than me. So I built up the strength, tried to squash back the tears and I went. Then came time to see my friend and sorrow is a hard thing for me. I struggle with knowing what to say. Giving hugs and saying the right words has always be incredibly hard for me. This doesn’t mean that I don’t care and that I don’t genuinely feel for people. It’s just something I struggle with. I had never had to look into a best friend’s eyes and tell her I was sorry for her losing her baby girl. A best friend that was like a little sister I never had, but who would I be if I didn’t say anything? Everyone knew how close we were. What would they think? I HAD to build up the courage and say something. So I did. I gave her a hug and told her I was so sorry and I held back the tears. I wanted to turn away and get out of the building so I could go hide and cry. I didn’t want to cry in front of her. But SHE was the strong one. SHE was the brave one. She looked at me with a smile on her face and said,”Don’t worry, She’s with the angels in heaven now.” Suffice it to say, the tears came. There was a flood gate behind my eyes that wanted to unload right there and turn the room into a river, but I couldn’t let it. So I nodded my head, tried to smile back with the tears starting to flow and slowly walked away. The flood released after I left her side but she didn’t see. When I think back to that time, I still can’t believe how strong she was. I can’t believe to this day, how strong she still is.

And that was one child….my cousin has now lost 3. I just can’t even begin to fathom her pain and I hope to God, that she will be comforted by him and his angels right now. If you’re reading this blog, please pray for that with me.

It’s so curious:  one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief.  But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.  ~Colette

Earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal.  ~Author Unknown



{February 20, 2011}   Does God have a sense of humor?

Today in my “Women’s Book of Confidence” was about Heeding Physical Clues. In other words, trying to figure out what your body is trying to tell you when it’s hurting or sick. But the only thing going through my mind at the moment is that my life is freaking me out with how everything is fitting together. How strange is it to be reading about this NOW when I was feeling sick yesterday and I feel I may possibly be either suffering from allergies again or getting another cold/flu. UGH! I hate coughing and I am not sure what my body is telling me to do other than to maybe take some medicines and rest? Any ideas? Anyone?

How incredibly boring my life feels right now. How can I write exciting posts when my life is anything but? ~Sniffle sniffle~ Don’t worry…I’m not crying, it’s just allergies. Why is life so cruel to make me allergic to where I live? I am allergic to Pine trees and I live in a part of Texas known as the PINEywoods. Is that cruelly ironic or what?  I really believe that God has a very strange sense of humor indeed.

Here’s some evidence for you:

A man: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
God: It is but a penny.
A man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: It is but a second.
A man: God, could you please give me a penny?
God: Sure, just a second.

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:

1. He called everyone brother

2. He liked Gospel

3. He didn’t get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:

1. He went into His Father’s business

2. He lived at home until he was 33

3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:

1. He talked with His hands

2. He had wine with His meals

3. He used olive oil

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:

1. He never cut His hair

2. He walked around barefoot all the time

3. He started a new religion

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:

1. He was at peace with nature

2. He ate a lot of fish

3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:

1. He never got married..

2. He was always telling stories.

3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all – 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:

1. He fed a crowd at a moment’s notice when there was virtually no food

2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it

 

3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do

Ok,ok…those were obviously 2 jokes and NOT actual evidence but hey, it made me laugh and hopefully it will make you laugh. I believe in God and I am a Christian but I also believe there’s nothing wrong with a little Christian humor, if done in good taste.

*Note: These jokes came from the Internet, not from me.*



Yea, you guessed it, a late blog because I am feeling down IN the dumps. BUT just because I am, doesn’t mean everyone else has to be. Being sick today made me think of an old poem that I absolutely loved when I was a little girl. It’s a poem by the great Shel Silverstein. You may remember the book “Where the Sidewalk Ends”. I owned that book and I still think that book and his others are great for getting kids into poetry and showing how fun it can be.

Sick

By Shel Silverstein

“I cannot go to school today”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.

My mouth is wet, my throat is dry.
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox.

And there’s one more – that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue,
It might be the instamatic flu.

I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke.
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in.

My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My toes are cold, my toes are numb,

I have a sliver in my thumb.

My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,

I think my hair is falling out.

My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,

There’s a hole inside my ear.

I have a hangnail, and my heart is …
What? What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is ………….. Saturday?

G’bye, I’m going out to play!”

Hope this puts a smile on your face whether you are down in the dumps or above the clouds tonight!



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