I have that song stuck in my head….”Feeling good” by Michael Buble, I think.
I’m in a good mood at the moment..even though I was stressed this morning and had a headache earlier, still need to pack for my trip to Austin tomorrow, BUT I am happy and in a good mood. Why am I in such a good mood? I don’t know really other than the fact I get to get out of town tomorrow and actually go somewhere other than this boring city I live in but it feels good to be in a good mood. Most of my friends and family know that I suffer from depression, which is partly a side effect of my thyroid problem and partly because of my weight. Well, sometimes it feels that days where I actually feel “good” and not just ok are few and far between so when I do feel good, I am so thankful for that.
Today I got to talk to my best friend Rebekah who is also one of my nieces(I have 8 of them in all). I do have more than one person I consider a best friend but if I had to pick just one as the best of them all, I have to say her. Not that my other best friends are not great because they are but simply because there’s something to be said from having a best friend who is also a family member, who has known me ALL her life and we just “click” as friends, always have. Anyways…back to my original train of thought..I got to talk to her on the phone today and she told me about this awesome website called improveverywhere that is right “up my alley” as she put it. And it soooo is…I love watching people do improv in random places; I just love performing in general.
At Christmas time, she had gotten one of her cousins, which is my niece Grace, this really fun game called Quelf that I had never heard of. It’s a lot like Cranium but in some ways, even MORE fun. I had so much fun with that game. I had to make a short rap about my appearance on one round, make up a short story that ended up using a camel, a witch and ended with bubble gum and I even used sunglasses and a paper towel roll to make a scuba dive mask that I had to wear for half of a game. I loved every minute of it….I may be 27 years old but I LOVE getting to acting like a kid again and I love getting a chance to do anything where I can sort of play another character, even for a short while.
I LOVE performing….and I miss it so much. If I had to give a speech in front of people, I would completely and utterly hate it and look uncomfortable but if you tell me I am doing a speech playing a character, then I could do it. There’s just something about getting on stage in front of people and pretending to be somebody else. It’s like it’s not me they are seeing anymore, it’s whatever character I am portraying. I also feel that way when it comes to singing, although it has been far too long since I have done that on stage. My first love was singing in all honesty. I used to sing solos in church all the time. I remember starting to sing and I would be singing the words but it felt as if my body was no longer standing there singing, like I was transported away looking down on myself. Not sure if that may seem weird or not, but it’s true. All my fears of being in front of the audience just went away while I was singing and I escaped.
I looked on at Theatre from a distance all through my school years. I always considered taking it but I was always so shy and could never agree to it. When I got to college, I was still shy and it was hard enough for me being a Music Major with an emphasis on Voice because voice lessons made me nervous…singing “Do re mi fa…” in front of someone trying to help me didn’t exactly help me escape, it just made me feel overly critical of any perceived faults I may have had. But I loved to sing so I stuck with it. Halfway through college, I got brave. I guess partly because I started to lose some weight and partly because after that, I conquered my shyness enough to try out for A.C. Singers, this singing/dancing group. I had seen some of the performances and I wanted to be one of them so bad, it ached. I wanted to sing solos somewhere else other than church. So I tried out, made it and somehow I got bold and decided to take an acting class as an elective. I figured maybe acting would help me in A.C. Singers and just overall with my shyness. Little did I know that I could actually be even decent at acting even though I had no real experience and that I would fall in love with it. I discovered within myself what I was missing. I love singing but adding acting along with it led me to truly discover the real me. I just love performing in general, the adrenaline rush before you get on stage, getting to become someone else for awhile, being around other people who also know what it’s like to feel like an outsider at some point in their life…I just love it!
And I haven’t done a play in what feels like forever now….:( I miss it so much…I feel like a part of me has been gone since the last play I did and I don’t think I will ever get it back until I find an outlet where I can perform again. ~sighs~
BUT I am still in a good mood because it makes me happy to remember the fun I had acting and that website my niece showed me made me really happy.
Now off to packing for Austin!