The Slump has hit
It always does when I least expect it
Things are going fine
Not much to complain about
But Depression doesn’t get the memo.
It’s times like these
When I remember the past
Back when the slump was more permanent
People would ask, “What’s wrong?”
And I never had an answer
They never understood how I didn’t know
But I was telling the truth
Or at least the truth as I knew it.
How can I possibly explain to you what’s wrong
When I don’t even know myself?!
Don’t you realize I scream and berate myself constantly
About why I’m sad when there’s no reason to be?
Don’t you think I’m my own worst enemy right now?
How do you, who have never suffered depression,
Possibly expect to understand me?
How can YOU possibly GET me?!
Everything is NOT black and white
Everything does NOT have an answer
You can’t figure me out
You might as well stop trying.
When something is funny and I burst out into tears
That transcend from my laughter
I am as utterly confused
And in disbelief as you.
There’s no method to my madness
This isn’t an act
It’s the downs of depression
The bottom of my barrel.
Then there are those who try to offer solutions
Like what you suggest hasn’t already been tried before
Are you some magician
With a cure I haven’t heard?
Do you hold the power
I have long hoped for?
Or maybe you’re the naysayer
Who believes Depression isn’t real
How I envy you
For not having to feel what I feel.
You have no idea how lucky you are
I almost wish you were cursed with my slump
But then I wouldn’t wish it truly
On my worst enemy.
Is when NOTHING
Can cheer you up
Your only wish is to be alone
And away from everyone,
Even those you love.
You go through life in a constant haze
Praying that no one
Will ask you
How your day
~Sharon Hughes, 6/8/13