No, this is NOT a post saying I’m getting a divorce or anything! I am still happily married and I plan to be until death DOES part us, so for friends and family who may have freaked out seeing the title, have no fear.
BUT this post is about Marriage and something I read considering it this morning. As I was browsing my Facebook news feed, I came across a post on a proposed ordinance in Mexico City, Mexico that would allow people to enter into Temporary Marriages. Yes, you read that right? “Temporary” as in the choice to be married “until death do us part” or as many years as you choose, with the minimum being 2 years. Before marriage, child custody and property is decided. The hopes of this ordinance is to reduce the numbers and cost of divorce.
My first thought was shock, honestly. I was born and raised with the belief that Marriage was this eternal vow and you just make it work. However, as I got older, I realized that there ARE some very valid reasons for divorce and I don’t judge people that end up in one. I have people very close to me that have been through them and having heard their situations, I can’t honestly say I would have chosen any different than they did. One thing I believe we all have in common, though, is that each one of us married with the intention of it being a “Forever” thing. None of us were blind to the idea that things can happen beyond your control and the future is unknown, but we each went into marriage with the idea that we loved this person, wanted to spend our lives with them, and we would be willing to work on our relationship should the need arise. Obviously, some of them ended up in heartbreak when the day came that they realized their hopes for a “Happily ever after” were shattered. I grieved along with them because I could tell they were so hurt and didn’t want that to happen. At the same time, I think most of them , should they re-marry, would choose to say “Until Death do us part” all over again. Why? Because I don’t think most people go into Marriage knowing OR wanting it to be a TEMPORARY commitment.
So, as you can tell, I am very torn about this proposal. I know this is just Mexico and it hasn’t been passed, but part of me hates the idea of something like this ever becoming a new trend. Maybe I am still old fashioned and traditional. Maybe I am living in a dream world where I still believe Marriage is a sacred thing, whether lasting or not, that to put it in terms of being “Temporary” is almost sacreligious?
Yes, I am aware that Marriage is an institution that hasn’t been around forever, but I kind of think I like it. I like the fact that two people are so much in love, maybe even drunk on it, that they agree to make this huge commitment of sharing their lives with one another. If I went back in time and had a choice to put a time period on my marriage, I wouldn’t take that option. If my husband had wanted that option, I would have refused to marry him. I would feel like it was a big slap in my face that someone chose to marry me, but it was only for 2 years or 5 years or whatever time. Then when the time ended, you can renew the marriage, but what would that really mean? Do you now have to do the whole dating and getting to know each other again period so that the other will agree to remarry you? What if one year in to a two year marriage, your spouse sees someone else they want to start seeing and is like, “Hold on, I got one more year and then I am free and clear with no messy divorce!”….Is it only me that would be offended by that? Am I the only one that would think your marriage now has become like a warranty on a product? Let’s just try it out for a couple years and if you’re not the same as when I married you, I will trade you in for a newer, better model?
I would prefer a couple live together for years and THEN make a decision to marry, then marry temporarily.
And now I will just say that I accept differing opinions on this. I realize to some people, this could be beneficial. I am simply stating my reasons for finding it rather atrocious and appalling. BUT, if you disagree with me, I am fine with that.